Tuesday, March 27, 2001

Okay, so I spent a little more than I should have, but really, everything I got was a necessity.. or an impulse buy. The best thing I acquired is a new dark, dark purple notebook- almost black, that I can carry in my truck to write things down as they come to me. This is something I've needed for a long time, because I get the best ideas while driving, or out feeding my horse, etc. I also picked up a lovely three-pack of pens- purple, blue, and pink. These will make the writing much easier. Do you really care what else I got? Not really I'm sure. But I did pick up new haircolor. Anyway, all of today's blog was written or outlined in the New Notebook.

While driving out to feed Emmett, everything felt so very artificial. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was an extra, driving along in a movie set where even the sunshine was being pumped in artificially from some hidden source. The perfect soundtrack was playing from my truck's cd player.. Born Into Kaos's Fadeaway, and a Ben Lee song... the one that says "A lot goes on, but nothing happens.." I don't know what its called, but knowing most of the titles of Ben Lee songs, that never have anything to do with the song itself, its probably called Poodle that Ate Connecticut, or something like that.

I feel so alive out in Emmett's pasture. Outside, there are government scandals, and bills and taxes and falling spacecraft, but in that little pasture, there is only the wind trying to turn the pages of my notebook, and the quiet slurping noises of my horse drinking. Did you know my horse is a redhead? Anyone who has read Still Life with Woodpecker will understand this on a different level. He is a redhead from his long equine eyelashes to the tip of his tail. Well, that is a lie. His tail actually has 170138 colors in it, give or take one or two. He is proofreading this as I write, and chewing on the paper, and dropping hay on me as he chews it. He is perfect. From my view at his feet, sitting on an overturned feed bucket, he is every bit as noble and majestic as any creature to ever live. And as I am thinking this, he throws hay in my face.
While Emmett was eating, I ran my hands over him, as I always do. Its a sort of quick physical checkup to make sure nothing is out of the ordinary, while at the same time being a loving gesture. He felt so warm and alive, and suddenly, everything was real.

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