Wednesday, January 31, 2001

quothe the country song..

"Its a great day to be alive; I know the sun's still shining when I close my eyes; There's some hard times in the neighborhood; But why cant every day be just this good?"

Tuesday, January 30, 2001

Yes, I've been absent from writing forever now. I think my muse went on vacation without me. Damn fickle muses. I noticed last night (well, it was actually this morning) as I lay in bed forcing myself to go to sleep that when im awake, I wish I never had to sleep- I would get so much more done. But when I have to get up, my bed is suddenly a sanctuary, and nothing short of world war three (Or continental breakfast.. ahem..Tiffany!) will get me out of that bed, and I wish I could sleep more!

Denise Richards has got a lot of hair. (She just came on TV, thus the sudden mention) She doesnt have a pretty face at all though- its kind of manly. I'm evil today.

Tuesday, January 23, 2001

You know that moment when you first strike a match against the box, and the flame bursts up into this big radiant glow, for a split second, and then dies down to a reasonable size? Wouldn’t it be great if more things in life would be like that moment of radiant glory, and less like the mundane spark that stays there? It reminds me so much of relationships I see so many people get in to. At first, its so amazing its practically blinding, just like that first moment of fire.. but then it seems to die down when things become too familiar. That magical moment is gone.. and without blowing a little wind onto the fire, its hard to get back. Wouldnt it be great to find someone that kept you in that moment? Where every moment together was as spectacular as the first? There are so many people that I just seem to become disenchanted with the more I learn about them, but then, there are those few who continue to fascinate me, and amaze me even more every day.

As I’ve said so many times, at the risk of being highly repetitive, I cant wait for spring. I want to be able to sit on my back porch late at night and look at the stars without freezing to death in the process. I want to sit barefoot with my feet in the grass and watch the world go by. I want to step outside and be greeted by the surreal glow of hundreds of lightning bugs around me. Or is that fall? Oh well, does it matter?
Yesterday was a beautiful day, in every sense. I sat out on the fence in my horse's pasture and just absorbed the rays of sun, and the cool air, and the sense of peace. Just when I was sitting there thinking life coulndt get much better, my friend drove up, and my horse ran over. I had all I needed in the world.

Speaking of which, Kenny is a miracle worker. In a matter of minutes, he transformed my head-strong, impatient, stubborn horse into... the horse he used to be. And more somehow. I couldnt put my finger on it until today when I was working with him, but I finally decided it was respect. And there's a certain calm to him- his eyes are soft now. He wants to please again. Every time I would stop him, he would walk towards me with a look of "Did I do it right? Are you happy with me?" And I was.

Saturday, January 20, 2001

I miss rain. I'm sure months from now in the middle of a warm summer when im dying to ride and the heavens are pouring down from above, I'll think I was crazy for ever missing rain, but right now, I do. I miss laying in bed and hearing it on my roof- its such a comforting sound. Its the sound of lazy days spent curled up in front of a fireplace with a good book and a cup of steaming hot chocolate.

Monday, January 15, 2001

Well, my New Year's resolution this year was to go out and try more new things, to live a little.. and so far I seem to be letting myself down. Im falling into a rut of normal-ness, and its so hard to pull out. So what should I do?

Sunday, January 14, 2001

Oh, how exciting, the Great Gatsby is on A&E. I know WAY too much about this movie/book, thanks to my dear english teacher. I know every ounce of symbolism, and im kind of surprised I still remember it all, as its been several years since that class. Paul Rudd is Nick in this version.. im watching another movie with him in it tomorrow- "Object of my Affection". I bawl at that movie. They should have gotten together, according to me, and my fairytale world where everyone ends up happily ever after.

Allison says I need to start writing something every day, even if its stupid, so im going to try... we'll see how it goes
The sky was beautiful today, a lovely pastel blue with fluffy white clouds- it looked like a little kid's drawing of the sky it was so perfect. I'm becoming overcome with cabin fever, I feel like a caged animal. Im actually excited to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

For some reason, im dying to go fishing.. to get up early and put on my cute green fishing hat, and go out and fish at the lake.

They're talking about Romeo and Juliet on "The Facts of Life", and now im dying to watch the movie. I know i have the book somewhere, but like 90% of the things I own, I have no idea where it is.

I really wish I could change this page around a little, but im so HTML-ignorant its almost scary. I want to figure out how to use the little mood-indicator smileys ive seen on so many other pages. I guess I just hate using the same old template that tons of other people use. I need to be unique.

Friday, January 12, 2001

Its funny how there are things we just overlook everyday, until at some point they catch our attention, and we're suddenly fascinated with them. I wish I could learn to appreciate more things like this. Im still fascinated by my horse every time I see him. Little things one would imagine I overlook by now because he's so familiar continue to fascinate me. I love to watch him eat.. the movements of his muscles, his beautiful eyelashes, everything continues to fascinate me. Maybe its because Im so interrested in equine medicine, anatomy, and physiology. I love putting an ear to his stomach and listening to the inner workings of his digestive system. Its like a real life application of all these things I read about.
What brought this to mind is my new fascination with draft horses. I was watching my friend's Belgians eat just the other day, and was simply awe-struck with their beauty, their size and power. I just stood there staring at them in childlike awe, as if I were seeing them for the first time.
I sat on hold for 26 minutes with the unemployment bureau today. Dont tell me I dont work for that money :)

I was reading a thread on the DIS today about weird college classes. I'm amazed that parents will work overtime to save enough for their children to go to college, only for them to end up taking classes like bowling, frisbee101, and all the others I read about. Straaange world.

Wednesday, January 10, 2001

A million thanks to my dear red-headed Erin for getting me stuck on this band called A New Found Glory. I should know to trust her by now, seeing that we have pretty much the exact same taste in everything from music to cars to men. She's my read-headed Ohioian twin. Go download their song "Sucker" and make Erin happy. It will make you a better person, really! Okay, Erin, you can pay me now :-D

I dont know why im writing so much about music tonight- im just feeling it more than usual, I guess. I really do like just about any kind of music. If you look through my napster library, I have country (Kenny Chesney, Dixie Chicks, a ton more), Classical (Pachebel's Cannon in D, Fur Elise) Pop (Backstreet Boys, Christina Aguilara, 98 Degrees), Punk (Blink 182, NFG), new rock stuff I cant really put a title on..(Matchbox 20, Dave Matthews Band, Savage Garden), and just weird stuff (Fish Heads, theme song to Rainbow Brite and Three's Company). I dont have any rap on there right now, but if you look through my cd's, I have Puffy, DMX, Dru Hill (They arent rap though..) You get the idea. Why am I writing this? No idea, who cares.
I continue to be captivated by how some musicians seem to get inside my head and make sense of the things cant... and blend these abstract ideas with a melody and create this song that seems to drive me crazy because its so me. I can listen to some songs over and over, and im just awe-struck, ebcause they just blow my mind.

On a very related note, I've downloaded 2 different versions of Dave Matthew's Band's "Say Goodbye" tonight, and both have different lyrics than the one on the cd. Its kind of an interresting twist on things though. If you havent heard that song, you should- I guess almost everyone feels that way about someone at one point in their life. The song matches it so well too, it just creates this mood. Reminds me of a Savage Garden lyric about no longer having your hands on the wheel.. I cant remember the lyric right now, my thoughts are all twisted around.

I really should bring to an end this horrible love affair im having with Napster. I spend way too much time downloading songs, but im so passionate about music. I made a cd the other day, and im just madly in love with every song on there, its great. They all strike such strong, but different emotions in me. Its amazing the effect that music can have on our lives- it can bring back a memory from years ago and make it seem so recent we can taste it.. it can add a whole new feeling to a moment, or it can put new ideas in your head... it can change the colors of the world around you. But, there I go off on a tangent again.

..."You've got me wild, turned around inside"...

The weather today was absolutly beautiful. It was so surreal to lay out on my back porch in a tank top while there was snow on the ground. Now that's something you cant do very often.

Monday, January 01, 2001

Well, it seems to be 1-1-01 allready! What a fun date to write.

My day at work had this funny feeling to it, it just wouldnt click that it was really our last day there. I had possibly one of the RUDEST customers ever, which put a bit of a damper on things. I tried to sit back and take it all in- every little detail of the building and the people.. the music and the lights. Of course, in true form, I forgot to bring my camera, which I regret.

And, in recent news, IM FREEZING. Oh, wait, I suppose you allready knew that. Hot chocolate has gone from being something that just sits in the kitchen cabinet to an absolute nececity of life.

Its odd how two important things happened today, but I still dont seem to be letting it all sink in. Its kind of too much to handle all at once. I was sitting watching TV with my mom, and they kept advertising programs on later in the week, and I would absolutly crack up laughing because I would actually be home to watch them. I cant remember the last time I've been able to watch tv when all the good shows are on.