Tuesday, February 27, 2001

I didnt go to sleep until 6am last night/this morning. I really wasnt even tired when I went to bed. I had just fallen into that state of quasi-consciousness and decided it would be a good idea to at least lay down. It started raining right before I went to bed, which was great. I looked out the back door, and the sky was literally blue-green. Like... that exact color. I lay in bed, and could faintly hear the raindrops on my roof, and found myself wishing that rain had volume controls, so I could turn up that sound and let it sing me to sleep.
Public Service Announcement: My hair is curly today. Thank you.

Monday, February 26, 2001

My goldfish, Splash.  , was named for his fantastic ability to play dead, and yet I still fall for it every time. I watch to see if he is breathing, and yet he remains motionless, so I poke the side of the bowl, and he swims away. And yet I continue to fall for it every time.

You know you have changed when you have a whole box of chocolate-chip cookie dough in the freezer, and instead you get Mango Passion Crisp Cereal and Apricot Mango yougart. One of my favorite meals. I was going to add a footnote about the cereal, but its just much too fascinating for just a footnote. Its technically called "Yogi Bhajan's Peace Cereal- Mango Passion Crisp with St. John's Wort and Kava". I dont know who Yogi Bhajan is, although I get the mental image of some yoga-practicing guy with lots of little buddah statues around. Sadly, he's probably a suit-and-tie businessman. I also dont know what Kava is, but who cares? Its darn good cereal, especially mixed with Yoplait. Yum! I think the Apple Crisp is actually my favorite, but this one is very good too. It has these weird things that I suppose are supposed to be mango-flavored that look like the sugary marshmallow type of things in kid's cereals. Scary, but fascinating. Also scary but fascinating is when you start blogging about EVERYTHING, right down to the cereal you are eating.
I have decided that I dont want the kind of man who brings me a dozen roses. I want someone who is different.. creative.. who brings me dasies..or even better, wildflowers. Especially if he even knows what kind of flowers they are. I love wildflowers for their unpredictable spirit and tenacity to grow in even the most dreary of places.

Im having this discussion with
Kelly about our blogs. We seem to agree on how we dont mind people we know reading the mundane things.. the "I really love these new Fudge Shop cookies" or the "I got new guppies today!" sorts of things. Thats all fine. However, when they read the things that have meaning.. both deeper meaning and meaning to you.. the poems and late-night dreams of how the world could be.. the open-book release of everything in your heart at the moment.. having people you know read that..it makes me nervous. So gut-wrenchingly nervous. Its like presenting them your soul on a platter. Or maybe im just over-dramatizing things, as usual. At least Kelly agrees, so im not alone. The whole irony of it is that its this sort of thing that I want to write more of.. and less of the senseless chit-chat. Perhaps, therein lies the true challenge.
Blogger was quite evil to me the other night. I tried about 5 times to publish, and it wouldnt let me. Evil thing.

Quote from
Allison's Blog that I thought was cool

"If you move your finger back and forth in front of a fish tank, the fish will all swim simultaneously away from your finger, pretty much at the same speed at which you're moving your finger. in this way you can conduct goldfish in a water dance coreographed by fear."

Sunday, February 25, 2001

I am finally really learning HTML! Tonight I finally learned how to do the cool mouseover effects I have been drooling over on other sites

So humor me and put your mouse over
this
I have an old candy tin sitting here, full of little slips of paper. Each piece contains a thought or question to write about when my muse is taking a mental health day. However, I keep pulling out topics, and they're just not sparking anything. I just pulled out "If I could have anything I wanted out of life, what would it be?" and I think I will answer that one later on, but most of the topics just suck. So, if you would like to do humanity a favor, please feel free to e-mail me some new topics to write about.
My mom was just asking me if I had any important papers I would like to put in the safe deposit box at the bank. She asked what I had that was irreplacable, and glancing around at the hundreds of photos of memories gone by, letters from friends, poems scrawled into a diary late at night, research papers I sweated over until the minute they were due, and so much more, I told her "everything". I dont think she really got it.

I get 2 new fish on Monday! Jim asked what I will name them, but I think I will wait and make sure my shark doesnt eat them before I name them. Think that is good advice?

Oh how I yearn to have cool html like bluishorange.com, Maybe I will learn..someday.

Thursday, February 22, 2001

They are killing a chicken on Survivor. I refuse to watch. I like to think that my chicken strips that I eat on a regular basis are grown on trees. Dont spoil my fantasy. I would be a vegetarian if it werent for this damn chicken addiction. And beef. And turkey. Sadly, my cravings seem to outweigh my morals- how sad is that?

I seem to have unknowingly stumbled upon the most entertaining diet ever. I seem to keep timing my meals around unpleasant things. Lunch today came at the same time as reading a thread on the DIS Boards entitled "Whats the most disgusting thing you have ever had to do?". That brought lunch to a quick end. I barely kept it down, actually. Now im watching Survivor during dinner. Nothing like rotting fish on the sand to make you want to eat!
Doctors may have found a link between hair dye and cancer. My days must be numbered.

Speaking of colorful death, I found one of my plants had transformed from its healty fresh green color, to a bluish black. Upon accidentally breaking it open, I saw that the inside was a pink fleshy color. That was...terrifying. I felt like it was going to bleed or something. Disturbing.
For some reason, im somewhat fascinated by this poem. It makes no sense, and yet.. it does. It makes me think in a strange kind of way. I think I like that. Its that strange kind of thinking that works little parts of your brain that dont get exercised every day. The style of the poem is a Pantoum, which I think I would like to try writing.

Here's a little try. Its my first attemtp at a pantoum, so no evil comments yet.

Vibrant pale rays drift across the horizon
More alive than their surroundings could ever be
Breaking through the darkness
Into a world they've always seen, and always try to change.

More alive than their surroundings could ever be
Two lovers lay out in the fields
In a world they've always seen, and try to change
Speaking of dreams of their childhood and wishes made on stars

Two lovers lay in the fields
Secluded from the rest of the world's worries
Speaking of dreams of their childhood and wishes made of stars
And building fantasies from the morning sun's cascading light.

Secluded from the rest of the world's worries
An old woman watches the world go by
And building fantasies from the morning sun's cascading light
She waits for her prince to arrive.

An old woman watches the world go by
Reminicing of days when the world was hers to touch
She waits for her prince to arrive
Staring out the window at a world long forgotten.

Reminicing of the days when the world was hers to touch
A young mother struggles to find more hours in a day
Staring out the window at a world long forgotten
She holds her children close, and her dreams far away
I continue to be amazed at how my dad can make a mountain out of a molehill. I'm trying to get a lot done before I go out tonight, so I asked him to run to Burger King for me so I can...you know.. eat. He's trying to make me feel guilty saying things like "Now I have to start my truck up!.." and im just thinking "You insert the key and turn."

I seem to complain too much on here these days, so here are some
Things that Make Me Smile
*My horse is always genuinely happy to see me.
*Actually having a full tank of gas.
*Seeing a favorite painting somewhere I dont expect to
*Seeing an old friend online
*Really good sales at the mall
*The soft silence of early morning
*Discovering something I've overlooked for a long time that was right under my nose
*Cute toys in McDonalds happy meals. Long live happy meals!
*Food that is easy to fix. I like my organic mashed potatoes. Insert hot water and stir.
*How excited my little fish gets when I feed him.
*Warm sweatshirts fresh out of the dryer.
*Song lyrics that ring true no matter how many times you hear them
*Finding money in an old coat pocket I forgot I had stashed away.
*Old inside jokes that are still somehow funny. "Its phat to death, man!"
*Giggling like a teenager with a friend over pop stars. (Thanks, Tara!)
*Turning on the radio in my truck to find a great song on.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

l learned a lot about the Joy of Bus Travel on my way to and from Chicago. The main thing I learned... Flying is a great thing! My trip was about 12 hours each way.. 12 hours on a bus with minimal legroom (im a tall girl!) with people (loud..um, interresting people!) that I dont know. Lovely. However, it did have its interresting notes, which I figured I'd share with you. Without a doubt, the standout of the trip was Snoring Man. From St. Louis to Chicago, I didnt get to sit with my mom because the bus was so crowded, so mom sat in the seat across from me. However, the most interresting person was behind me. We shall call him Snoring Man. This man snored louder than any snorer I have ever heard. Hell, he snored louder than any freight train I have ever heard! As if that werent annoying enough (keep in mind it was between 2 and 5 am.. we wanted SLEEP!), his snores were intermittanty interrupted by these high-pitched hiccup-type of noises. That made it amusing, but still annoying and sleep depriving. And then, about a half hour later, between the snoring and hiccuping, he would momentarily stop snoring long enough to mumble something in spanish. It was great! Finally, the lady next to mom started threatening to throw ketchup packets at him (we had made a McDonalds stop earlier, so condiments were plentiful). That caused giggles all around. Finally she got up and poked him (woohoo!) and said "Sorry, but are you okay?" He went back to sleep, but with only minimal snoring, and I named her My Hero. There was much rejoicing.

Well, of course, on the way back, I needed entertainment, and so the woman sitting behind me gladly stepped up to the job. She was nice, but VERY vocal about everythign! The whole bus knew she was hungry (even AFTER I gave her half my box of wheat thins- the indignity!) and hot (It WAS hella hot in there) but the funniest part was when she would have conversations with her friend about 4 rows in front of her. My favorite part was when her friend said something, and then in refrence to the singing toddler behind us, the lady said "I dont know WHAT you taklin 'bout, girl, I got LIVE entertainment back here! Sing it baby!" to which her friend replied "Oooh, we got the next Michael Jackson back there!:" Needless to say, I have now incorperated "Sing it Baby!" into my everyday vernacular! As if all of this, and talking to the guy behind me wasnt enough entertainment, one of my bus drivers was also quite a commedian. "Hi, my name is Bus Driver, and ill be your bus driver today!" and of course "Please accompany small children to the rest room, because they could get locked in there, and I dont have my key with me, so they will be the property of the Tidy Bowl man for the rest of the trip! And, I got to drive past amusing billboards and shops. One advertised a store called the Hemporium. Im not even going to ask!
I finally spent the last hour of the ride watching the windshield wipers dance across the windshield in their rythmic motions. They didnt really move in sync at all.. (pardon the boyband-sounding word usage) but they did have a certain pattern to them.. I suppose it was just amusing because it was almost 6am and I had only had an hour of sleep.

Saturday, February 17, 2001

I'm hooooome! Im sure ill actually take time to write about my trip sometime soon, but now is not that time. Im exhausted, and impatient, and trying to catch up on reading blogs.
In recent news, SNL isnt even remotely funny anymore.

Saturday, February 03, 2001

Wow. I judged a speech tournament at my old high school today, which was just a little eerie. There were a lot of people I went to school with, and we were all strangely reunited in the same old place, talking about the same old people. The school felt somewhat unfamiliar.. as though I had only visited there in a dream. It took me a while to get my bearings and be able to find my way around again. I gazed through the window to the room where my Humanaties class was, and saw that the ceiling tiles we painted were still up. I couldnt even recall what I painted until I painstakingly searched for one that looked familiar.

I had a nice trail ride this morning with some friends. It was just the right temperature, and just the right length. I just couldnt enjoy it as much without riding my own horse though, so I guess the only word for it is "nice". I rode an energetic little mare, who we can only guess to be mostly Arabian.