Friday, September 28, 2001

You know, I spent a lot of time at the horse auction thinking of how I would describe it to you, but now that I'm home, I'm too tired to remember. We sat in the livestock arena, clouds of smoke lingering overhead to oversee the activities. The stands were crowded with people in Wranglers and cowboy boots, at least half of which seemed to be ancient cowboys. In one balcony sat an amish father and son, most likely there to sell mules or grade horses, as they always seemed to be. In the opposite balcony sat the Cutest Cowgirl Ever, as I must award her. She bought an adorable pony for her daughters. I bought nothing. I looked around at the cowboys and said yum a lot. Horses were going really really cheap. Too bad I'm poor. At Wendys on the way home, my total was $1.38, and I gave the girl $1.32, and was getting more change when she said thanks and closed the window. Um, okay. 6 cents for me!

Thursday, September 27, 2001

You know, I forgot to mention, at my new job I feel like I'm on some kind of sitcom.. sitting around in my pretty little appartment baking cookies with my friend, and of course the wacky neighbors (aka the other workers) stop by for cookies. It all feels so.. odd.
Check out my new nametag!



I got up at the crack of dawn this morning to go bake cookies. This is the coolest job ever! I get paid more starting than I do at dixie after being there 3 years... I just bake cookies, watch TV, and sit around! And eat cookies. I was still on the clock while I went to Hardees and back to pick up lunch. My boss let me leave at 12:45, even though I was still on the clock until 2. This is some good stuff.



Then, after a break at home, I went to work at dixie. Someone who was an extra today begged me to let her print, so I did, and I'm home again. Yay!



Amusing sign seen on a truck at wal-mart last night.. "WANTED-Bin Laden, Dead or Not Alive"

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

Well, I'm being instantly flipped from a lifestyle in which I go to bed at 5am to one in which I must get up at 7:30am. Its going to be hard to adjust to!! However, it will pay bills. That is a very good thing. And so, I put up with it.
As promised, a picture of the dress the size of rhode island.

Monday, September 24, 2001

Well, I was quite the southern belle today. I had chocolate colored ringlets down to my shoulders, a strand of tiny pink stones around my neck, and.. one big ol' honkin belle dress. But, yeah, work was fun.. I greeted today, and it took at LEAST a half hour for the poor wardrobe lady to get me dressed. Then, I went to get UN-dressed after work, and I was trapped in the dress! I was so poked and smushed and pinned, it was almost impossible to get out! But it was definitly fun to get paid to stand around and look cute, rather than my usual WORK.
I couldn't find the place. How sad is that? "Yes, I would love to work for you.. but, it seems the problem is I cant figure out where the hell you are". I parked at the resort, and wandered aimlessly for about 20 minutes, searching for where I was supposed to talk to Lou about the job, and finally gave up. I feel pathetic.
69 days until I go to Florida! Or is it 68 now? Can you tell its 4:30 am and I'm really really really bored? Yeah, thought so. You see that nice link over there that says email me? Use it! Entertain me! I beg of you!
You know, I think part of the reason I get so stressed is that I tend to regard so many things with a sense of great importance. Some people can get new jobs and quit others without blinking, where as I look over every detail 17 times, think, rethink, and think a bit more before decisions are made. I think I tend to forget that if it doesnt work out, its not anything I can't handle.



I am in dire need of an adventure.
By the way, does anyone know what happened to reallybigwords.com? I miss it so.

Sunday, September 23, 2001

Too cute.



"$50,000!" I said quickly, as Jessica and I prepared to snap a wishbone. She won. "Darn! I guess I'll have to keep my job" I mumbled.



Half hour later, Anna brings me half of a Hundred Grand candy bar, and tells me my wish has come true.



Too cute.
Can I please, please, please stay home today? I will read Still Life With Woodpecker, and listen to it rain, and talk to Kelly, and post to our new blog that isnt quite ready for you to see yet... and it will be so much fun! Please, may I stay home from work?



Oh, yeah, I'm poor. Bye.

Saturday, September 22, 2001

A nice little survey, stolen from Fluffy Battle Kitten who stole it from zalary who stole it from Kristine, who stole it from Leesa, who got it from who knows where.

wallet: black day-planner thingey

hair brush: Gotta use a pick or wide-toothed comb on this mane of mine

toothbrush: Green and white one.. I think its made by Mentadent

jewelry worn daily: Silver ring that says "Faith"

pillow cover: White with a celestial design.

coffee cup: I have a few, but my favorite is a HUGE one from the disney store that has Cinderella and says "A Princess shouldnt have to work this hard"

sunglasses: *really* cheap ones from the dollar store, because I always spend way too much on sunglasses and then break or lose them.

shoes: Not wearing any right now.. usually black lace-up Laredo boots, or my new brown Justin boots that I love.

nailpolish: None right now, I need to paint them.

keychain: I have one of those beaded ones with my initials, a horse, a little tropical island, the 3-eyed alien from toy story, and the Disney Cruise line logo.

computer: HP Pavillion

favorite top: You know, I dont think I have a favorite right now. Whatever is clean works for me

favorite pants: Humm, my dark blue wind pants are REALLY comfy, and I like my new jeans, and my rockies, and my wranglers..

shampoo/conditioner: Ion Tea Shampoo, Herbal Essences conditioner.

perfume: Usually none, but im wearing Mary Kay Velocity right now, because I got samples in the mail today and wanted to try it out

car: 2001 silver Ford Ranger XLT. I might trade it for a toyota tundra soon.

television & stereo: Small Zenith TV borrowed from my dad, and Sanyo cd player

telephone: Very plain, utilitarian white one, and also a computer-grey colored cordless

cellphone: The nice free nokia they gave me when I signed up

watch: Blue metallic face on a brown might-be-leather band

computer chair: Big white lawn chair, most likely from Wal-Mart lawn and garden department

keyboard: the one that came with my computer.

printer: HP Something or another

scanner: UMAX Astra 300P. It sucks now, and puts big lines across everything

lamp: Nope, my poor room is illuminated by two lightbulbs overhead, although one always seems to be out.

desk: A lovely brown wooden one my dad got for like $10 at an auction that I have scribbled notes on and painted doodles on with nailpolish.

Tuesday, September 18, 2001

I remember when I first started blogging, about a year ago.. I was so nervous about sharing. I would re-read what I wrote several times before I posted it, and for a while, it really was terrifying. Now, obviously, I don't even think about it. Its type-post, with no other thoughts about it. And now I'm setting up the page with some of my writing, and I know when I link it, I'll probably have some of that same nervousness I had when I first started blogging, but hopefully, I will soon be able to share writing much more. And therefore, maybe I will write more. We shall see.



I guess I just wanted to end the night/really early morning on a more positive note.
Rabi pointed out that Sept. 11, 2001 will probably end up in one of those last chapters of history books that you never have time to get to during the school year. Maybe 20 years from now, my own child will come home from her first day of school, and show me all her new books. And for some reason, I will be compelled to flip to those often ignored last chapters, and there it will be, and the memories and feelings will come rushing back. How will I react? How much will I remember about this past week? And if her class gets to that chapter, and she comes home and asks me if I remember it.. what stories will I tell? Will the first one that comes to mind be that of when I first heard the news? Will I first remember the entire day spent glued to the TV, saying a million times "This doesn't feel real". Will I tell her about when I finally just sat down and cried... tears that paused for a while over the following few days, but didn't stop for quite a while? Will I tell her what it was like to see the faces and read about the people who lost their lives? Or about feeling so unsafe for one of the first times? Or will I tell her about how one local store sold out of 20,000 American flags in 3 days. Will I remember my neighbor's pick-up with the massive flag in the back, and flags on each rear view mirror? Will the stories be about how Disney World held a 10-minute time of silence on the day of prayer & rememberance, and even the kids were quiet? That the Red Cross and hospitals around the country had lines so long for donations, they were having to turn people away, requesting that they come back the next day? Or maybe about things that will unfold in the next weeks. What will I tell her? Or will I just hug her, and quietly say "Yes, dear, I Remember."
..and now that I'm thinking about it, I'm terrified to go to bed, because I have this horrible feeling that in a few hours, Mom will wake me up and tell me a plane has crashed into somewhere, and with my same just-woke-up innosence, I shall ask "Did it hurt the building? Was anyone hurt?" just like I did seven days ago. And it will be a horrible repeat.. sort of like a week long version of Groundhog's Day. And I will cry a lot, and just when things start seeming normal again, I will start to feel the effects in my own city...



I know I'm just being silly. I will wake up tomorrow, and check my mail and get dressed and go see Teela at work and eat cookies with her, and go to my doctor's appointment and everything else. But then again, I had similar thoughts last monday night. Actually, I doubt I even thought that much about what I would be doing the next day.



No warning. Maybe that's what gets to me the most.



After the bomb threat at work Sunday, we had a long meeting about what to tell guests if they asked, and how to handle the press if they should show up. Who knew that Dixie had a bomb threat contingency plan? We were given the option to go home if we felt unsafe, but no one did. However, at various points throughout the day, as we were laughing and having fun, and doing our usual work things, it would occour to me that for all those thousands of people, it was just another day at work. Just like what I was doing now. They were joking with their co-workers just like I was right at that moment. They could be me, and I could be them... and holy crap a walnut just fell from the tree onto my roof making a loud noise and causing me to jump about three feet. Yes, I've been jumpy. Anyway.. I kept thinking about how here I was having a normal day at work.. and they were probably having a normal day at work.. but my day ended with me walking out to my truck and going home.. theirs... thiers ended.
One week ago, I had just gone to bed. One week ago, I had spent Monday evening at Wal-Mart, looking at fish, and at Subway getting a sandwich, and my whole world was very very normal. One week ago, plus about 6 hours, I was woken up by mom, and I lay in bed for at least a half hour listening to the news before I got online to see things. One week ago, the world changed, and.. I dont know what to say. We changed. Things changed. Normalcy changed.



I continue to notice how normal so many things are starting to seem now, as if nothing happened, but then there are the constant reminders, and I'm jerked back into reality. After the first few days, I suppose I stopped being amazed that the mail still came and TV shows were back on and the sun still rose and sat just like every other day. I don't know how to explain it, I'm still yet to regain my grasp on putting things into words.



I thought I could handle it by now, I've been so overexposed to it all, I've seen the image of the plane crashing into the second tower hundreds of times on TV, and millions more in my head. I thought I could handle it by now, but the pictures over at Like An Orb brought back that same horrible, sick feeling.
Because you know you've always wanted to know, here is What I Do At Work.



Oh, and the eminem's grandma chick called back today, and accused us of stealing her photo album. Perhaps some things run in the family...?

Sunday, September 16, 2001

Good heavens, what a day.



Lets start with the most amusing part-- we met Eminem's grandma. How cool is that?



We also had a bomb threat today at work, hours before we got there, but still, a bit creepy. We also had another.. security issue, but I don't want to say anything to protect the privacy of my coworkers. I'll just say it really makes me feel like nothing is safe anymore. To top it off, there were 3 cop cars that had pulled over a car on my road. To put things in perspective, less than two months ago, I was sleeping out on my back porch, not the least bit worried.



This is kinda how I have felt lately, in a not so literal sense. Kel, this is for you.
OIkay, after some wrestling with my CSS, I now have a happy little menu box over there again. I am still not quite sure if I like the colors. They will probably change a bit before I am really satisfied. I stll need a new title graphic, and to actually add links to the link buttons up there. Gimmie suggestions, or something.

Saturday, September 15, 2001

Okay, Kelly, tell me how you did it!! After a discussion with Kel tonight about how much she likes Bear in the Big Blue House, he is mysteriously on at 5am instead of Madeline. KEL HAS SCREWED WITH DISNEY PROGRAMMING!! This is going to really mess with my mind, you know. Out of the Box better be on next, I tell you!



Really, Kel, HOW?
Freshly showered, legs smooth as silk, skin soft, slipping into silky tank top and shorts, getting ready to slip into bed and read something by Tom Robbins, and then fall asleep to the early morning Disney cartoons, I feel more at peace and... comforted.. than I have in quite a while. I only hope it lasts.

Friday, September 14, 2001

Well, my page is now black.. much different than it was, but I think I kinda like the change. Tell me what you think! Thats why there is that nice comment link!
AOL has posted a collection of photos of victims of the terrorist attacks, mostly those that were on the hijacked planes.. and so now these horrible visions I have have faces to go on the faceless people that waited in terror for what they knew was immanent. I have got to stop replaying these scenes in my head before I drive myself crazy.

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

3rd damn time in a row!!!! Every few months, my company has a party called Strive for Five, where they draw out names, and every 5th or so person wins a prize. The last 8 people who havent been called go up on stage, as well as 2 they draw out of the "non-winners" box. Well, tonight, for the THIRD TIME IN A ROW, I was the 3rd one left up on stage. 1st time, Me, Shane, and Becky were up there, I got called down, they split the $1000. 2nd time it was me, Shane, and Megan. I got called down, Megan got the money. TONIGHT, it was me, Shane, and some tech guy named Ricky. As usual, I got called down, Ricky got the money. WHY CANT I WIN JUST ONCE!!???



I may go down in history as "The ALMOST winner". Next time, baby.. 4th time is the charm!

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

I think this may say it all.




For the first time in a really long time, I dont know what to say.

Monday, September 10, 2001

Okay, forget blogging for a while, I'm gonna go play the Sims.
At Subway, I ran into a girl I had gone to school with, and we had about 5 minutes to talk and catch up while the nice subway people made us food. Now, there were only about 160 people in my graduating class, so it was one of those situations where you *knew* almost everyone, and about 80 of us had been in school together since grade school. So, while she wasn't someone I ever really hang out with outside of school, I knew her semi-well. We talked about what we were doing now, and what some of our friends were doing.. Anyway, it was odd, just as running into people from school always is. The ironic part was standing at that counter reminded me of the old lunch lines, and although everything is constantly changes, some things just don't ever change.
Okay, so I missed about an hour of posting, but for worthy causes! I stopped by wal-mart first, and checked out the fish, but they were all rather ordinary looking. There was on really pretty blue one, but I won't allow myself to get any more blue. NO MORE! In the office supply aisle, there was a mom, little boy, and what I assumed was his older sister. He kept begging her to hold his hand, and she refused. It was sad, in a way. It made me think about how many people we come in contact with on a daily basis, and see just a fleeting moment of their life. It overwhelms me to think about how ALL of the people in the world have this long life story.. It also makes me wonder about all the possibilities we pass by every day. What would happen if I were to strike up a conversation with one of them? Would it change either of our lives?... I picked up some tab dividers, because I'm an organized person, and then set off for Subway.
Oops, I hope that didn't post twice. Anyway, I think I'm going to go get my sandwich, then stop by and check out the current stock of fish, just in case they have any I can't live without. I'm really not going to buy a new fish. Really. I mean it... (famous last words)
Its a good thing this is a very unofficial blog-a-thon, because I really want to go get a sandwich, and check out the new bettas at wal-mart. And, maybe just drive. Well, okay, I don't really NEED another betta. And maybe I can send dad off to get my sandwich. But then, I do want to drive...
Oh, my, what have I gotten myself into.. I have nothing to write about... what do I have left to say that I haven't said before? I suppose I'll find something to babble on about, but don't expect it to have substance.. not that I usually have much anyway... but I feel like that should be said. I just keep finding myself sitting here wishing something would happen. Anything, really..



Oh well, at least what little goes on these days has been amusing. Its the little things...
First of all, I would like to begin by pointint out that the clock on my computer is on crack. I *just* fixed it a few days ago, because it was about 10 minutes slow, and I just now had to do it again. In case you're wondering, there is no real reson for tonight's mass blogging other than that I feel like it. I'm going to try for every 15 minutes until 4am, but you may have to settle for every 30, depending on how things go.



Tonight was a pretty good night at work, and thankfully, this week the pretty good nights have outnumbered the "I am going to quit" nights, which is always a good sign. The best part is I get my $100 bonus wednesday, and a chance to win $1000. Keep your fingers crossed for me!



There is no pepsi in my house, which may make the 4am thing more than a little difficult. We'll see how it goes, and how long it takes for me to break down and just go buy some.



The fantastic news of the night is that I have now officially paid my down payment for my 1st 4 nights in Florida, and I'm going to make another payment as soon as I get my bonus on Weds. I feel like I should be on TV.. "Crystal, you've just survived one hellish summer at work! What are you going to do now?" "I'm going to Disney World!" I just got an email from my "Vacation Planner", and its the same chick who did my May trip, so I'm excited. Her middle name is Annette, which is my horse's first name (poor boy cant help it if he was named after a girl!), so that makes her cool. One of the fun things about the travel company I use is that they put together an itenerary for you, which I never really follow, but always has some really good info in it. In related news, I've really been busting my butt trying to 1) finish up my trip report from my May trip, before people start getting hostile from suspense, and 2)_Scannning all my pictures from May, and uploading them into a nice little photo album.
I've decided to do an 8-hour blog-a-thon, starting now, just for the hell of it. :) I decided on the way home from work I was in the mood to post, and decided to kick it up a bit. So, here we go :)

Sunday, September 09, 2001

Oh, and because I am post-happy tonight, and you KNOW you want to know..

My Current Shopping List


Hickory Smoked Soynuts

Maple Vanilla Pumpkin Seeds (Better than candy, I tell you!)

Sprite, Squirt, Orange juice, Strawberry SoBe, and V8 Splash Strawberry Banana (So I can make my funky mixed drink)

Frozen pizzas (Because that's what i live off of. The joys of not being able to cook!)
In 81 days, I will be in Florida. Please just keep reminding me that when I get cranky. I'm getting to that phase again where every now and then, something will remind me of vacation, and I just burst out into giggles. But, you would too, if in just 81 day, you were going to be here! And a few days after that, getting to stay here! And then my favorite, the Poly, which I couldn't find a good pic of right now! And then, my 2nd favorite, here! Um, yeah, I'm psyched. I'm especially excited to be staying at the ANimal Kingdom Lodge, because one, its NEW... compared to my well-loved Polynesian, which opened in 1971! Second, its beautiful, and las lots of sitting areas in the lobby, just like the Wilderness Lodge, and Third, there are gonna be giraffes outside my window. How often can you eat breakfast in your room watching zebras outside? YAY! Yes, kids, contrary to what you learned in school, the old South, Africa, tropical islands, and the pacific Northwest are all within a few miles of each other!
OH! And I am VERY upset that Kelly has yet to update me on the last few days! Dont leave me hanging here, sis!
A new co-worker very much pissed me off yesterday. Teela was saying how her mom had gone to Oklahoma for a few days, and she worried about her. This guy asked what part of Oklahoma, and then said "Oh, well there aren't too many Indians out in that part, so nobody should bother her." And he was serious! I was too shocked to speak. What do you say to that? Keep in mind that this guy was like 104 or something, and he actually quit today because being on his feet that much bothered him.



I cant imagine what its like to be a minority that hears people put them down all the time... this is the first time I've heard someone openly put down my culture. What do you say to that? And oddly enough, I feel much more Cherokee than Irish, even though I'm almost equal. Perhaps because I've been exposed to the Cherokee side of things more, and can relate to it, where as I've never been anywhere near Ireland.
We sat out on the back deck at dixie, watching the people dash across the parking lot, holding jackets over their heards to block the rain because, of course, you're not really soaking wet if your hair stays dry. We watched the lightning alternate in flashes and streaks, and listened to the thunder, each rumble more deafening than the last. And we laughed, enjoying a much-needed break.



Later, I walked across the endless parking lot amidst this eerie low-hanging fog that was drifting along the pavement, and I almost felt like I was invading its territory.

Friday, September 07, 2001

I know, I haven't posted much lately, but the truth of the matter is that there really hasn't been much that was post-worthy. I'm dying to redesign, but I just can't decide what. Oh, and my archives are seriously screwed up, if you would like to know.



Carrie was waiting for me in the parking lot when i got out of work tonight, which was a great surprise, as I haven't seen her in months. I stood out there talking for almost an hour, reminicing and singing our beloved Veggie Tales songs. We would have gone somewhere, but I had exactly $1, so that was pretty much out of the question.



So, um, yes, I'm a very bored girls these days. So email me, even if I dont know you, and it will make me very happy.

Monday, September 03, 2001

Well, how cool. the wrangler website also has stuff on John Lyons, Josh Lyons, and GaWaNi Pony Boy. If only they had Pat Parelli...
How cool. I was just browsing wrangler.com, and they had a pic up of one of my heros. Yay for Charmayne! That commercial with her and her horse Scamper still brings tears to my eyes. Love it!