Wednesday, November 28, 2001

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

Stockings are the devil.



Today I went shopping for shoes to wear on vacation. I went to every single shoe store in every single outlet mall in town (Which is roughly 34523). I found no decent sneakers, although I found some fabulous calf-high black boots I really wanted, but since those were not the object of my shopping mission, I had to pass. Near the end of my shopping, one of my black thigh-high stockings decided its true calling in life was to be a knee-high, and so it began its journey. I felt like an idiot, standing with my leg on a bench outiside the Discount Bible store, trying to casually pull it back up where it belonged. And so I continued, but the stocking would not be kept from its dream. I finally gave up and stopped in Wal-Mart to buy a garter belt to hold the darn things up. So, now I'm walking through the mall, and my stocking just falls down around my boot. People are staring. I duck in the restroom to put on the garter belt and just end the war when, in that lovely 3 square foot box, I discover that I have NO idea how to attach stockings to a garter belt. After a few minutes of fiddling with it, I give up, peel them off, and head off to face the world with bare legs. There are days I really do think the world is out to get me!



We are supposed to get 5 inches of snow by tomorrow morning, which means work tomorrow is a big maybe. I nearly fell to the floor screaming "NO!" while watching the weather channel today. Snow 4 days before vacation is not in my plans, but the nice lady on the weather channel promises me it will be gone by Saturday.



Four Days. In four days, I still need to:

*Pack

*Get Shoes

*Clean ALL the fish, and teach mom how to feed the bettas

*Make final plans with Nate

*Figure out where I am meeting up with everyone for MVMCP

*Finalize airport plans with Kel

*Regain sanity



Think there's hope?

Monday, November 26, 2001

Okay, so I admit it- deep down I really think I DO have mono. But what do you do in my position? Admit it and go to the doctor and get a blood test, and make them put me on all sorts of horrible medicine and stuff, 5 days before vacation? NO WAY. I guess deep down I'm terrified they would tell me not to go, or give me medicine that would make me so out of it my trip would be ruined, and I just cant stand either of those ideas. And so I ignore signs. Even that little bit of being terrified that my spleen will burst on vacation still lingers, I smile, and dance, and count down the days as I pack my suitcase.
I'm really, really pissed off at Wal-Mart. My mom has worked there since I was 16, and the rule has always been that employees, their spouses, and kids that live at home get 10% off. Well, today I'm checking out, mom's handy dandy discount card in hand, and the bitch at the checkout counter asks how old I am. I tell her, but that I live at home. She asks if I'm in school, I say no, and she says I cant use the card because I'm not in school. Um, HELLO, I havent been in school in over 2 years, and nobody has ever said a thing. So, now I'm really pissed off at Wal-Mart in general. What tightwads. I'm REALLY tempted to take everything back and tell them I'm to go buy it at K-Mart instead. I still might. What kind of company is THAT damn cheap that they have to get so picky about discounts?



And, since Kel stole the part of the conversation was gonna post, here's more amusement ;)

Kelly: I'd become a nun, if it were't for that whole no sex thing.

Kelly: And uh, no material items thing.

Crystal: yeah, all that stuff

Kelly: And, well, the whole nun thing.

Kelly: But man, if it weren't for that...

Crystal: yeah, the whole nun thing REALLY screws up the idea of becoming a nun

Kelly: It does. The nuns need to get a better PR person.

Friday, November 23, 2001

The wonderful news is that I'm able to get some food down now. Its making me feel a lot stronger, my stomach not get as upset from my medicine, and generally, I feel much less like a sheep from David & the Giant Pickle.



I would put up my list of things to do before vacation, as Kel did, so that I could satisfyingly mark each one off as I got it done, but its so long it would probably stretch deep into the archives. And so, lets just say I need to do a hell of a lot of stuff. And I need shoes.



I was actually going to work today, but I ended up on the phone until 4am last night, and slept right through it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, November 22, 2001

I just learned that our local university has a whole department for Fruit Science. The best part is, the first class on the list, FRS 121 is Introduction to Wine. And if you get lucky enough, you can go to the State Fruit Experimentation Station! Please, please, go read this class list and laugh at them like I did. Its simply that I have this mental picture...



College Student A: Hey! Joe! Are you coming to the party with us?

College Student B: No, dude, I have to study for this exam in "Selected Topics in Fruit Science"

College Student A: Oh, MAN! I've heard about that one! The section on mangos is killer, man.



Ready for the saddest part? I now find myself sitting here wondering if I really should know more about fruit.



My parents have decided to go out for Thanksgiving dinner, seeing that we still havent replaced our stove after the whole 3am fire incedent, and microwave dinners simply do not a Thanksgiving make. I could have gone with them, I suppose, but sitting in restaurants watching other people eat is really starting to get to me, so I opted to stay here at home with my bowl of tomato soup, of which I have actually managed to consume an entire two spoonfulls.



Going through the furniture in the living room today, deciding what we were going to keep and what we were going to replace, I informed mom that the chest of drawers (yes, in the living room. Dont ask) had to stay. Its simply the best, you see. It has two cat stickers I put on it when I was about 4, because I liked them so much I wanted to put them somewhere I wouldn't lose them. It also has two large marks on the middle drawer, each about the size of my hand. These are from when, once again around the age of 4, I was in Mini-Martha Stewart mode as usual, and was making halloween decorations. I dont remember the exact process, but I was making lovely ghosts out of kleenex or toilet paper or something.. and this process involved getting it wet, pressing them against the drawer, and leaving them there to dry. Think "drink without a coaster" stain multiplied many times. I still have the ghosts somewhere, too, by the way. They have gum wrappers for arms.



You know you have been home sick too long when you start reading about other people's sims.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001

Blogger is silly at times you know, but then so am I, and so I must forgive it.

Monday, November 19, 2001

The tooth is GONE! Last I saw it it was laying on my dentists counter, looking rather guilty. I didnt bother to sayy goodbye, as our relationship had not been a good one.



Early this morning, mom woke me up for my dentist appointment. She wasnt sure if they were actually gonna pull them or not. I thought that if they werent gonna do it, a nap sounded like a much better idea. However, when they heard my face was swolen (I somewhat resembled Popeye, a one eye was almost swolen shut) they said to bring me in.



The scene: the waiting room. Enter Crystal and her mom

Receptionist: Ooh, you're...

Me: Crystal

Receptionist: Swolen!



And so I half-slept in the waiting room for about 20 minutes in the waiting room, and then they took me in to the chair, where I waited about 20 MORE minutes. Its NOT fun laying there all alone having no idea whats happenin. So, the dentist comes in and makes the ever-so-astute observation that I dont look very good. Smart guy. He then proceeds to tap rather hard on my teeth to find out which one hurts the most. I guess he is deciding this by how loud I scream. He comes down to the 2 finalists in the most pain, and whacks on them again. Im laying there thinking "Dear lord! This place is called GENTLE DENTAL!" So he finally looks at me and asks if I want it out. I think my response was somewhere around "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD YES YES YES!" They ask if I want the gas. Hell yeah. They hook me up, and a few minutes later, I can feel them turn it up to proportions that would make an elephant woozy. "Can you feel the gas at all?" they ask. I nod. They are very smart in choosing this time when I am OUT of it to do the ol' novcane injections. I did not feel it. Im serious.. I felt them doing it, but I felt no pain, even though I KNOW they did one right in the roof of my mouth which usually hurts more than just about anything else. So, im starting to think this is really cool when I go NUMB. I cant feel a damn thing. I must admit, I kinda panic. I do things like open and close my eyes or move my hands just to make sure I'm alive. They being me back to a semi-conscious state long enough to get me to sign a release that allows them to take my tooth out. So, lets review. I'm half blind from a swolen eye, and can hardly remember my name im so full of gas, and they want me to SIGN something? I manage, and its back under for me. I gaze distantly at the TV screen and think I am really losing it when I see a 3-headed dog. Then I realize its Harry Potter stuff. NOT a good thing to watch when you are trying to determine your sanity. I hear/feel them turn up the gas again, so I know its about to get good. This is where it felt kinda like a root canal for a sec.. I felt them go WAYYY up the root of my tooth with.. SOMETHNG, and I made numerous "Ouch ouch!" noises. This is when I am thinking those panicky thoughts of "OMG, they are PULLING my tooth out! I do NOT want this done!" So, it stops, and even though I cant really hear, I understand Amy (Did I mention that my hygenist used to work with me at dixie?) telling me I can bite down now, and so I do. Now I lay there, alone and confused. A few minutes later, Amy comes in and sits me up, and takes off my gas. I'm thinking "Gheez! Cant we get on with it!?" She says I can go. I pull the gauze out of my mouth, and oh yes, its quite bloody. She gives me replacement. I somehow mumble through a swolen mouth full of gauze "That was IT?" Now given, it was not fun at ALL, but DAMN that was quick. They tell me to go set up an appointment for after I get back from vacation, but I still have no idea where I am. Dad comes to pick me up, and voila, I'm home. Now, I really dont know if I blacked out or if it was really THAT quick, but my mouth is allready much less swolen than before, and hurts much much less! Life is good, and it should feel normal soon. Im going to be human again!
Ow ow ow ow ow ow OUCH.



Im hopefully having oral surgery in 4 hours. If they arent really gonna do it today, they damn well better not even wake me up. Im NOT leaving that office with the same number of teeth I go in with.



Oh, and if you arent keeping track, so far this week...

Strep Throat (mostly over now)

Major stomach pains (probably due to tons of meds with no food)

Much dizziness, includign blacking out a few times and not being able to walk once (see above reason)

Insane tooth pain (Hopefully to be taken care of at 8:30 am)

Swolen eye (spread infection? icing on the cake?)

Really screwed up neck (Which I cant get fixed until my mouth feels decent enough to let someone touch my face without me slapping them)



So, at least now you know where I've been.

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Things my Girlfriend and I have argued about is a most amusing list. Rich's would be considerably shorter. I wish I had a list of "Things Kenny & I have argued about" and "Things Kelly and I agreed on" could be two of the longest lists known to man. ACK! Here I go with the list making again! Rich laughed at me when I whined that my packing list for December was stuck on my computer. I dont know if he laughed because it was allready done, or because it existed. OH! And speaking of which, MY COMPUTER IS ALIVE!! Ever since my monitor died last week or so, I havent been able to get mom's monitor to work with my computer, but today after over an hour of time spent at the HP support site, playing around with display settings, and restarting about 500 times, it finally works! I am rejoicing.



Animal Planet quote of the day-"Crocodiles go through a several hour courtship called "foreplay". In other words, the male is actually nice to her for a few hours before breeding!" I really need to start updating my quote page again. I've been watching Animal planet pretty much non-stop since we got our satelite, which I'm sure has its good and bad qualities. Emergency Vets is the best, and not just because Im madly in love with Dr. Andy (Sorry honey, really! But but.. he's just out of vet school and... yeah, I'll go stand in the corner now. And would you believe I couldt find a single picture of him on the net? Psh, some age of technology!). I feel so incomplete without my daily dose of Emergency Vets and Wildlife Rescue, and Moorpark 24/7, and Total Zoo and Keepers and Vet school Confidential and Crocodile Hunter..well, those arent all on every day, but you get the point. I DETEST the Jeff Corin Experience.. that man is annoying. He and the host from the Funniest Animals show should...well.. be gotten rid of in some dreadful manner. Sorry, Im just too sick to be creativly violent.



Reason why im happy to be back with my computer #3565- I can open that 35th IE window with no fear if it crashing. Goooood computer.



Vacation is now 17 days away, and Im filling little details into my schedule, adding names and feeling like quite the social butterfly. Im glad I have a lot of people to meet up with, because Im really afraid that I will be end up by myself for a while and have NO idea what to do. I'm sure it will provide some amazing time for taking photos, and really noticing things I never have.. but Im still afraide I will get lonely!



In case you're terribly curious, here's the temporary schedule:

Dec. 1- Leave here at 6, Hopefully see Kelly during my layover, Arrive really really late

Dec. 2- Sleep in, Christmas Party @ Magic Kingdom @ 8pm with about 120 people from the DIS boards

Dec 3- Epcot, hopefully joined by Katie. There's a live taping of Who Wants to Millionare at MGM, so I may try to get tickets to that. Just in honor of Daves Regis Story.

Dec. 4- Keys to the Kingdom tour at MK, perhaps MGM at night, where I will most certaily get in to the hot seat at Millionare.

Dec. 5- Check in to the lovely Animal Kingdon Lodge, Backstage Safari at 8:45 am, Lunch at Rainforest Cafe, Lodge Tour & Storytelling @ the lodge firepit at night.

Dec. 6- Day to relax on my balcony and watch the giraffes and zebras and such. Maybe do something..

Dec. 7-Check in to the Polynesian.. my favorite place on earth!

Dec. 8- Have room service deliver some Tonga Toast, and enjoy it out on my balcony, overlooking my favorite place on earth. Then, take the monorail to MK. Hang out for a while, and then take a boat over to check in to my well loved Wilderness Lodge.

Dec. 9- Sea World with Katt, if she still loves me enough to drive!

Dec. 10- RICH comes to see me! Oh joy and rapture! Drag him around Epcot, and watch Illuminations that night.***

Dec. 11- Happy birthday to me! Magic Kingdom with Rich.. maybe go get a massage at one of the spas or something.

Dec. 12- Say bye to Rich :( Find something to take my mind off him leaving

Dec. 13- Last day! Finish up anything I havent done and really want to do.. make feeble attempts at stuffing everything I have into my suitcases and end up buying extra bags to carry things home in. Hopefully catch up with Kel on my layover again.



Vacation is such hard work.

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

This made my day! I would adopt him, but I cant spare the money right now.
I forgot to mention that as of yesterday, they finally talked me into going to the Christmas Party at the Magic Kingdom on December 2nd, so I will be there with about 110 others from the DIS Boards, and of course, about 19,900 other people.



And while talking to kelly, I remembered this from a few days ago. Proof that I have obvious issues with denial. And have seen certain movies far too many times.



Rich: You're sick!

Me: No Im not!

Rich: You need to go to a doctor!

Me: I dont want to go on the cart! I feel happy!



And a lesson learned. Dont ask me for literary advice when Im on antibiotics...



Kel: Decide what I should write my one act play about.

Crystal: how about this guy and this girl that are from feuding families that end up dying because they cant be together?

Kel: Hm, you may have something there!

Kel: That sounds very original!

Crystal: thanks!

Crystal: OR you could do this one where this girl wants to date, but she cant until her older sister does, but her sis is kinda a.. oh, whats a good word for it? a shrew?

Kel: WoW! You are really good at this!

Kel: Uhm.

Kel: Shaun and I were on Jerry Springer? (See, KEL reads my blog the second I post! Hah! Thats why she is my favorite!)

Crystal: OR you could write one about a mermaid that falls in love with a human so she trades her voice for legs with this sea witch..

Kel: I have no idea where my desk is.

Crystal: and ummmmm.. check under your computer
Look at me, home from work. Im amused that after going more than a month with no days off, I take one day off, and it turns in to nearly a week. Lou sent me home from work yesterday because I looked miserable, so I went to the chiropractor. I mentioned my throat hurt, so he took a look at it, and said he was pretty darn sure I had strep throat. Greeeeat. There was also a whole deal with getting my ears to drain, but ill spare you the details on that one. He set me up an appointment at a doctor's office I've never been to, seeing that recently I've been pretty fed up with my doctors. He sent me off, insisting that I call and let him know how things went. It was so nice to have a doctor that actually knew what he was doing, but was genuinely concerned for me too.



Off to the doctor. Apparently this guy's been working at the hospital for a while, and decided he wanted his own practice. The interresting part is that its located in my old dentist's office. The normal doctor wasnt in, so I mostly just saw nurses. Now, by this point I was not a very happy camper. 19 days until my trip, and I was sick. I had to miss work, when I really really needed the money. And, hey, I was really sick, who can be happy about that? One of the nurses looked at my throat for a while and said they were going to do that giant q-tip of death strep test. I couldnt hold back a few tears, because I'd been crying most of the day, and I really detest even the mention of any sort of tests. The nurse could obviously tell that i wasnt exactly having a fabulous day, so she talked to someone else, and they decided that since my throat looked so bad, I needed the antibiotics anyway, so they were going to skip the test and just give me the drugs. Thank God!



While I was waiting to pay, the first nurse came over and was hugging me and said she could tell I was just physically and mentally exhausted, and was just SO nice! I really like this new office.



They think I should take the rest of the week off, but Im gonna try taking off today and tomorrow, and see from there. I'll probably be spending ungodly amounts of time at my computer, so please send me lots of email, and maybe some chicken soup. And especially send me links to your blogs if I dont know you, because Im gonna need some stuff to read!



On another note, for anyone who has been living under a rock, an American Airlines jet crashed in New York yesterday morning. I was just starting to feel confident about flying again. Things were going to be ok. I leave in 18 days, spending over 4 hours on planes. American Airlines planes. I'm not going to let fear keep me from experiencing life, but it really does darken the mood a bit. Kelly is flying in just over a week. There are no words for my worry. All this time, its been strangers on these planes. I have so much sympathy for those lost and their families. But now, its my best friend and myself, doing something that just a few months ago millions of people did daily without a second thought, but that we now worry about to no end. Terrorism is certainly named appropriatly.



And just because I cant end on a bad note, I had the funniest dream last night that Kelly and Shaun were on Jerry Springer.

Sunday, November 11, 2001

My head is throbbing, so I am trying to distract myself by blogging. Yesterday, I drove up to Springfield for my hair appointment (Its dark brown with medium brown hilights now, instead of medium with light!), and then decided to kill the time before the wedding at the mall. *I* bought a skirt. Me. I haven't bought a skirt since back when I did speech tournaments in high school.. I actually think the last time I bought one was my freshman year. So.. nearly 6 or 7 years later, I actually bought a skirt.



After shopping, I still had some time to kill, so I went over to Barnes & Noble. They did not have any Neil Gaiman books, which made me sad. I was just getting ready to leave, as I had to get to the wedding, when I started feeling REALLY sick. Knowing I wasnt gonna be able to go anywhere soon, I grabbed a Van Gogh book and found an empty chair. I ended up sitting around for quite a while, and by the time I left, it was 2:05. The wedding was at 2, and 20 minutes away. No wedding for me! Most everything was a blur while I drove the 45 minutes home, and when I got here, I promptly fell asleep. I woke up at about 8 feeling like that chick in Alien with the creature coming out of her stomach. My stomach hurt. My back hurt. My neck hurt. My throat hurt. I HURT. I took some medicine, and once I could see straight again, went in to lay down and watch TV. YES! We have TV now! Many many many channels, which means that my free time is now spent watching Animal Planet and Discovery Health channels. So, there I was, with insane stomach pains, watching a lovely show on marsupials. I must say, despite the fact that I could barely see straight, I died laughing at the mating rituals of the koala bear. The male makes this noise that sounds like a mixture between a burp and a chainsaw, while the female makes a screaming sound, with a gagging look on her face, and then she starts choking. Afterwards, they fight. Perhaps you have to see it, but it was damn funny.



So, this morning, the first morning I was allowed to sleep in until 9 in MANY weeks, I woke up at 7:15, still sick. I dont know if I'm going to work or not. I think I'll go lay back down now, but I wanted to reassure you guys that I'm not dead, even though I feel like it.

Wednesday, November 07, 2001

OMG, I take it back. THIS is a far, far better idea when I have kids!



Rich, are you taking notes?
I'm going to go crazy if I dont get some normalcy around here soon. I feel like I live in a snow globe that someone has shaken up, just to see everything float around, and I'm trying desperately to get everything back the way it was. I hate moving.



I think that this is a fabulous idea. Years from now when I have a kid, I want to keep a good record for them, so when they get older, we can remember the moments of their childhood together. I find myself taking mental note of all these things I want to do for my kids when I have them. I suppose its time to start another list.



Terrifying moment of the day: Seeing that I'm on mom's computer, I dont have my nice file of "Nifty Blog Stuff", so I had to go to my blog to look up how to do that footnote. Well, I put in the URL, and got "That Page is Not Found". Thankfully, I had typed cowigrlup. Heh.



Today, I learned that everything I thought I knew about math is very wrong. I learned this at the Guess? store trying on jeans. Now, first of all, when they get all technical and list jeans sizes with the waist size instead of normal sizes, I'm confused to begin with. I knew my waist was somewhere around 31, but you never know, so I grabbed the 32's and 34's, just in case I was fatter than I felt today. I went in, and tried on the 34's first, and as expected, I could pull them out a few inches in front of me. Handy place to store a drink, but not quite the fashion statement I was looking for. So, I tried on the 32's. They were skin tight! Now tell me.. 34 and 32 are only 2 inches apart, RIGHT? So why was there about 6 inches of difference? I am now discontented with Guess, because they really, really confused me.



My latest "Gotta have it in the fridge all the time" item is sparkling juice. Right now I have a sparkling Burgundy that is wonderful. However, the Red Cabaret is atrocious! Sparkling peach is to die for.. pear is good.. sparkling cider is in the fridge, freshly purchased and waiting to be tasted. AND, did you know they have chocolate cream Oreos now!? God really does love me.



On a rather sad note, although Mike may live, Splash, my lovable goldfish, no longer does. So far he is the only casualty of our move, although I think my monitor may be added to the list.. its still not working. I did, however, get 2 lovely new goldfish. One is huge- orange and white.. the other is the tiny 38 cent variety, and is orange and black. He actually has a ring of black around his lips, giving him the appearance of wearing black lipstick. Photos coming soon, please help me decide on names for them!



While searching for new paint colors for my bathroom, I found a lovely light purplish pink shade called Honesty. If Honesty is a pastel purple-pink.. that really messes up my Wildflowers poem! (There is a reference to the color of honesty, for those of you who arent majoring in Crystal Poetry this semester)



You know those commercials where they say yada yada yada.. "They dont take American Express! Visa. Its everywhere you want to be." Well, I found my way into one last week. I went to the supermarket for the essentials (cheese, crackers, and sparkling grape juice.. dinner of champions!), and when I got to the checkout counter, the woman leered at me and said "We dont TAKE American Express!" in a very nasty tone that makes me highly suspect she works for Master Card or something. Luckily I had my bank card with me, but really! What self-respecting grocery store doesnt accept money in any form you are willing to give it to them?! On an amusing note, this particular grocery store gives you coupons on the backs of your reciepts. This time, I got one for $1 off one of these cheap-o Mexican Microwave Dinners I get occasionally. However, they only cost 99 cents. I have to worry about a food the company is willing to PAY me a penny to eat. Hummmm... This made me decide that all homeless people really need access to a mircrowave. Get a free microwave dinner, PLUS they give you a penny! The homeless guy with a flare for enchaladas dream come true!



We still dont have TV, so I rented 4 movies tonight. I'll let you know how they are.



Conversations with Kelly:

Kel: What colour??

Crystal: we live in America

Kel: Uhm, yes.

Kel: We do.

Crystal: color.

Kel:Colour!

Kel: Theatre!

Crystal: idiote!

Kel: rofl!

See what happens when I cant blog for a week!?

Tuesday, November 06, 2001

Kelly says I need to post, and so I must. I've missed my computer so much, and now I still cant have it back! I finally got it all hooked up in my room, and the monitor wouldn't work, so I "borrowed" mom's. THEN the phone lines in my room wouldn't work! So I am back on mom's computer, missing mine very much.



This CD should be in everyone's collection.



Would you believe that I actually took notes on things I wanted to blog about while I was computerless, and now I am too tired to post them? Soon, I promise.
SO SO VERY FRUSTRATED! ARRRRRGH!!!

Sunday, November 04, 2001

In response to Kel's question in a comment under the MIKE LIVES! post...I just moved, and my phone wont be on until late Monday, so my only net access has been Sat & Sun at work, and that has been really limited!



And, um, hon? The colors on my comments are screwed up! Or maybe its just this computer...