Tuesday, January 15, 2002

“I smell like bug spray, I’m drinking a flat soda, and I’m still happy!” Melissa, Real World New Orleans

This immediately brought my mind, oddly enough to how it feels at the end of a really good long trail ride—exhausted, dusty, a bit sore, often a bit scratched up, and nothing could feel better than just sitting down on a bale of hay with a soda and reflecting. I miss that so much. I wish I lived on a few hundred acres where I could go out on all day rides- there’s such a sense of beauty and accomplishment behind that that I’ve been lacking lately. I miss sitting outside the barn with Jill cleaning our tack after a good ride, and then going in the house for a huge dinner and four hour games of monopoly.

I think the reason I want to vacation so much is that I know that here, home, is my comfort zone, and I need to step outside that as much as I can to grow as a person, and essentially, to be happy.

In a way, I hate how the world works- that I have to stay within the confines of the everyday norm, working to pay off bills, to ever have a hope of getting to experience the things I want to, but in a way, the value of those experiences would be sort of stripped away if it was a constant thing with no down time, and I didn’t have to work to get there.

There are so many places in this world that I want to see, to experience, to understand. I want to be able to look back on my life, and not feel that I missed out on anything. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines.

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