Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Last night, at 2am as I lay in bed, knowing I had to be up at 8, I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind fell back to exactly one year ago, when I went to bed around 4 am on September 11, 2001. Everything was right with the world, or so we all though. I lay in bed last night remembering the terror. I couldn’t help but have those thoughts- what if I wake up in the morning, and it’s a repeat of last year? What if it all happens again?

This morning, as I drove up to Springfield, the radio station was having a 9/11 tribute. In the first hour, which I caught the very end of, they were taking listener’s calls to express their comments. Then they had on a program that I think was being aired nationwide. They were playing various media clips of what was going on as the planes struck the towers. They aired one transmission from one of the planes that was really interrupted by static, but you could barely make out something that sounded like “we have to land the plane, there’s a bomb”, and then it went dead. Then you heard the other people saying “What did they say?” “I think they said there was a bomb” and all of the hurried directions that followed. They played the local radio station saying “Something really weird is going on, a plane has flown into the North tower of the WTC…” and then you heard people shrieking as they watched the second plane hit on the news. They played a caller who had phoned in sobbing because her sister was in the building. I finally had to turn it off for a few minutes because I was crying and didn’t want to be a complete mess when I got to the office building I was delivering to. It was intense. As I entered the office building, I glanced up at the overcast sky, and was struck with the memory of constantly watching the sky last year, afraid to see a plane overhead after they had all been ordered to land. One very appropriate phrase I heard on the radio on the drive home came from George Bush, when he said they were wondering if it was going to stop, and that’s exactly what I remember thinking. What was going to happen next? Were things under control now, or was the next attack just minutes away? It was a horrible way to spend the next few days, thinking those thoughts until the general feeling of safety started to settle in again. I’m wearing a New York t-shirt today. I actually have one that I purchased pre-9/11 last year, with the NY Skyline, including the twin towers. I’ve never worn it. I almost did today, but it was just a little too much, so I settled with this shirt instead.

This is such an odd day. For one, it brings back memories of horrible things we’ve not thought about for several months. It still doesn’t seem like an entire year has passed. I guess I mostly feel unsure how to treat the day. It would feel wrong to go on as usual as if today were any other day, but what can one really do? There is a big memorial up in Springfield right now, but there was no way I could go to that and be back in time to work. I guess I’m just confused as to how I want to handle today, since it’s a bit unprecedented. Sure, we have Pearl Harbor day, but even though my dad was there, it doesn’t effect me in the same way, since I didn’t live through it. The whole concept of a day like today is one I’ll just have to find my own way of dealing with.

I have until either the end of November or December to finish up my vet assistant program. I can’t remember which, which is really not a good thing. The problem is that I have an insane amout of work left to do. Want to hear what I’m doing this week? (Keep in mind that if I’d actually followed the normal schedule, each section listed here would take about a month) By Monday, I plan to have completed: Small Animal Nursing part 2, Veterinary pharmacology, Radiology 1, Radiology 2, Insturmentation and Principles of Aseptic Procedure, Surgical and Anesthetic Perperation, and Lab Animal Procedures. Yeah. Its going to be a pretty hectic study schedule for the next few weeks while I try to cram it all in. The one good thing is that there is no exam over Radiology 1 (I’m assuming the radiology 2 exam will be comprehensive, though.)

The interesting part of this is that I have the choice of doing a work experience option now. I don’t know yet if I will do it or not. They want you to do 200 hours, but since you’re a trainee, you generally don’t get paid. Right now I really don’t have the time to devote to training, but perhaps this winter when work is really slow? I’m not really planning on actually becoming a vet assistant, but I could learn a lot that would be helpful to know since I’ll be working with animals for the rest of my life. And if I’m going to do it, the time would be now while all of this info is still fresh in my head.

Finally, I think I may have to sue They have this new game called Bounce Out, and its so very addicting. Its kind of like Marbles on crack. Its taking over my soul, and I sit here playing game after game when I know I should be eating or sleeping or studying. Evil, evil Yahoo.

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