Wednesday, February 27, 2002

I am forcing myself to write this list while I wait for the nice Ford people to come get my keys out of my truck.



I am lucky because…

I have full coverage in the roadside assistance plan, so my keys will be out of my truck within 60 minutes, and I don’t have to pay anything.

If the biggest crisis in my day is locking my keys in my truck, I’m pretty luck.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me.

I have the most amazing career opportunity.

I have Kelly, who is the most amazing friend.

I am one girl who will never run out of eyeshadow.

I have the best horse in the world.

I have a mom who will help me out with my bills when I’ve fallen behind.

I have not just one good job, but another one that wants me back, plus my own business. How many people have that at 20?

Despite not feeling particularly healthy, I don’t have cancer. I don’t have to go in for kidney dialasis. I don’t have to have weekly blood tests. I have all my limbs. I don’t have any major diseases. I don’t have heart problems.

I have great friends all over the world.

My job is to make other women beautiful, have parties, and share the amazing career opportunity I have- does it get better than that? My other job gives me free cookies.

I have never gone to jail. I have never gotten a ticket.

I work for a company that does everything it possibly can to make my life easier.

I am quite talented at keeping fish alive.

My fish are always happy to see me.

I live in a country where I have the freedom to believe what I want.

God reminds me on a regular basis why I believe what I do.

I never have to worry if I’ll have a roof over my head that night or where my next meal is going to come from.

Amanda calls me on a daily basis to motivate me and keep my butt in gear.

My boyfriend worries about me when I’m sick.

He would never intentionally hurt me.

I found him despite circumstances that would normally keep us from ever meeting.

I’ve been lucky enough to go on my favorite vacation three times in the last two years. A lot of people don’t even get to vacation once every other year.

My truck unlocking people are going to be here soon and I will be able to stop writing this.

Blogger makes my life easier.

Despite my cooking skills, I have never caused any house fires. Trust me, that’s lucky.

I live in a very safe city. You can leave your car running while you go in the gas station to pay for gas with no worries.

KFC is less than five minutes from my house. Chicken pot pies, baby.

I have an awesome cholestorol level. One less thing to worry about.

If I work hard enough, there will be a brand new Grand Am in my driveway by the end of 2002. I will have paid nothing for it. I will owe nothing for it. I will never pay insurance on it.

I’ve never broken any bones (Except that one time I accidentally broke mom’s little toe. Sorry, mom)

The nice lock guy just got my keys. Hooray, hooray!



Like I said earlier, you can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your attitude, so that’s why I made myself do this. Instead of focusing on everything that’s going wrong, I’m focusing on what’s going right.

I dont even know how to describe how I've felt in the past couple days. The term "rollercoaster of emotions" is the one that sticks in my mind. I've made a commitment to really get back into my mary kay business and do it right, and that has made me feel unbelievably positive and happy. However, other stuff going on has upset me and really stressed me out. I find myself questioning everything, particularly after some discussions I had last night. I think I know how I would react to certain situations, but would I really? Im very, very confused.



And of course, its tax time, kids! Amanda called me yesterday and said that it would be a VERY good thing if I could get my mk order in by the end of this month vs. by the end of the quarter (march 15th). So, I need to file my taxes now, and borrow the money from dad based upon what I'll be getting back.



I'm not happy about the way everything has been going lately, and I'm changing that. You cant control your circumstances, but you can control your outlook and your attitude.



As I hopped in my truck this afternoon to deliver some samples to my aunt, I heard exactly what I needed to hear.

Affirmation, from the Savage Garden CD of the same title



I believe the sun should never set upon an argument

I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands

I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you

I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do

I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem

I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone



I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye



I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe that your most attractive features are your heart and soul

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair

I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires



I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye



I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness

I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed

I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists

I believe in love surviving death into eternity



I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye



Have I told you a million times how much I love this CD? The whole CD is like liquid poetry, and its so personal- you sort of follow the singer's marriage from bliss to breakdown. His wife had to be crazy, who could end something with a man who could write "I might need you to hold me tonight". Is there any bigger turn on that sensitivity and not being afraid to show a vulnerable side? Whew!

Monday, February 25, 2002

I'm sitting here killing time before I leave for my meeting- Im nervous and I really dont know why. I think that if I weren't meeting Amanda beforehand, I would be chickening out by now. I used to look forward to going, but that was back when I was in the habit of going every single week. Now I don't really know most of these people, and I've been doing nothing with my business, so its not as easy. I guess I'll get back in the swing of things- Lord knows I need to!



I must say I look damn good. I've been sitting around the house so much that I've forgotten what I look like with hair and makeup done, and a skirt. Yay me. Oh, and I was able to actually get my cute jeans on today, they were just skintight. Getting there, I guess.
How long has it been since I've actually written something of substance? I could blame it on the severe lack of anything interresting going on lately, but thats usually when I write the best. I'm off work until the first of the month due to a severe lack of business, and sitting at home all day just feels.. unnatural. I dont feel right unless I'm actually out doing something on a daily basis. At least on the good side, I've gotten some reading and studying done, which reminds me that I need to update the books page soon, since February is nearly over.



I'm working on a new site design, but nothing is coming out quite right. I have the ingredients, but just cant mix them right. I'm going to add a writing page soon with some stuff I've written, really. I never have been good at getting around to that one.



Not going back to dixie this year feels really strange. In a way, I will miss a lot. I will miss a lot of people, I will miss the atmosphere we have there sometimes, I'll miss the good old fashioned dixie gossip. But I wont miss the lack of respect we get, the crappy pay, or the favoritism. Will I ever go back? Maybe. If I can get in the show next year, I may. I dont even know for sure that I want to do that anymore. I think its more that I want to get in than to actually do it every day. I would love to do it two or three days a week, but I dont really think I want to do it every day. I'd love the riding and the dancing, but I know it would just get to me after a while.



There are times I'll miss the ol photo department. I'll miss the old days though, when we had fun at work. I miss the days when Carrie was boss and I looked forward to going to work, and was there almost an hour early every day- the days when we would all go out after work every night, because we all really enjoyed each other's company. The days that I have a million photos documenting, that have slipped away. Now I'm not particularly fond of more than two people there, and the politics have overtaken the experience. The fun is gone, and so am I.

Sunday, February 24, 2002

It is 4am, and therefore I am posting the disney legend my fish Figment was named after.

Friday, February 22, 2002

Time for the ol Friday Five again already!



1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well? Sagitarius- and yep :)



2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received? I cant think of any really bad ones... I do hate when people give me a gift and say "This is your Christmas AND birthday gift" though, since my b-day is so close to Christmas. How would they like it if I did that, if their birthday was in August? Humph!



3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received? Humm, probably my 1st computer.



4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far? Without a doubt, my 20th! I was at Downtown Disney with Nate at midnight, so we celebrated there, and then I had a birthday breakfast the next morning, where the waitor made me ride around the room on a stick horse while everyone sang happy birthday to me! Then I went to Magic Kingdom with Rich, and hung out on the beach at the Polynesian that night.



5. What are your plans for this weekend? Well, no work, since we're disgustingly non busy! I'm hoping to get my hair done, and finish up my unit on small animal nursing. Other than that, its anyone's guess!

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

Mom woke me up at 8:30 this morning with breakfast from McDonalds which I devoured and then promptly fell back asleep: oops! I finally woke up again at 10:30, and dashed to get ready for work. I had to practically build a boat to get there- my driveway was so wet from all the rain that I basically slid out of control all the way to the main road. My windshild wipers danced to their own beat while I listened to Savage Garden, which helped my rotten mood a little bit. When I got to work, Lou was leaving, saying that the cookie truck hadn’t come, so we had another day off. I grumbled a bit, wishing he could have called me and told me not to come in, but took it in stride and went off to Wal-Mart to check out the new betas (None I couldn’t live without). Last night I decided that I would start giving out at least 1 Mary Kay sample attached to a business card a day, that I couldn’t quit until I did. However, I looked like crap this morning, and didn’t want to project that image on my business, so I decided to skip card handing out for now. (I read on the message boards last night that one lady went to Wal-Mart and wouldn’t let herself leave until she had handed out 10 cards. She was there about 5 hours, but it made her finally start talking to people!) I was still in a pretty icky mood, so I went to my favorite local clothing store for some major Shop Therapy.



I found a pair of Polo jeans that looked good on me even though I’m having a very fat day, so I decided that I had to have them. This is one thing clothing designers really need to understand: if we find a pair of jeans that look good even on a fat day, we are going to buy them, even if they are $9832. Add tags that claim the size is actually two sizes smaller than it is (as in you’re wearing a 10, but it says you are wearing a 6!) and we would buy them very quickly. This reminds me of when Kelly and I decided we should go into the wedding dress business. Even if you normally wear a size 6, you’re gonna wear about a 10 in a wedding dress. This is not good: the poor bride already has so much going on and so much stress, and now you’re sticking her with having to try on a size 6, expecting it to fit, and finding it much too small, therefore convincing her that she’s gained weight right before her wedding and and and!! So, yes, our theory is to go into business and be the only wedding designers out there where the sizes have the opposite effect: If you usually wear a 14, surprise! You’re a size 7 now! Normally a 6? Look at that! You’re magically a 3! We think we will be millionaires.



Oh, yes, anyway, sixteen paragraphs back, I found some great jeans. Actually, I also found some very girly pink shirts I decided I couldn’t live without, and a long-sleeved camel color shirt I had to have, and some white sneakers that I actually needed. So, I walked in with a really bad mood, and walked out with $150 of clothes. And they say money cant buy happiness! ;-)



On an entirely different topic, its funny how I start to think of people whose blogs I read as if I know them much better than I do. I just found myself thinking “I wonder how Henry is doing”, the same way you may wonder about a sister or friend you haven’t talked to in a few weeks. Funny stuff, this internet.



Oh, and Tom Cruise is turning 40 in July. This bothers me, mostly because in just 10 years, that means he will be 50. I cant imagine Tom being 50! Then again, I cant imagine me being 30, so I digress.

Monday, February 18, 2002

You know, I think Kelly was right when she said that the theme of 2002 seems to be sickness so far- dad had to go to the ER again today, and it seems he has pnemonia again!



I was up until almost 5:30 last night- for some reason I had all the energy in the world and simply didnt want to sleep. I browsed the 7-day cruise info at castawayclub.com, and daydreamed about being able to cruise again. I read over the DIS Cruise boards, as well as the regular DIS boards, and found that, to my delight, Nate had posted the second part of his trip report on the Passporter boards. I cant wait for him to get to the days we spent together- I'm looking forward to seeing it through his eyes and being reminded of some of the details I've forgotten.



I can't believe that in Hong Kong, its all the craze these days to eat dishes made from snakes, most of which are skinned alive. Its weird that I saw this on the Travel Channel (on a show I'm watching called Curious World), since it was just on the Croc Hunter last night. Poor snakes. Next thing you know all the snakes will be out of the wild and in the kitchen, and then the rodent population will explode and cause an epidemic, and all the herpatologists will sit back and say "Told ya so." Sadly, I dont think there are enough people in the world who dont view snakes as evil to stop this sort of practice that's so deeply imbedded in their culture. And, now they are starting in on Lizard soup. Why!? Why!? Blah. Also, in a zoo somewhere in China, they sell live baby chicks and ducks for the visitors to toss to the crocodiles-- kinda like feeding the dolphins at Sea World with a gruesome twist. Personally, I'd be buying them and smuggling them out of the zoo in my coat to save their little lives!



Now on this show I'm watching a man play a tune on his clarinet... while his entire body is covered in a swarm of bees. Ooh, a very cool idea- In some city (I keep missing the details here) when you put in a soda can, it sets off a slot machine sort of function, and you can ocacsionally win gift certificates to local shops. Pretty nifty!



In local news, I got a spam email titled "Crystal! Now you have another chance to scratch!" I think that one was better left unopened.



Typo of the Day: They sell the visitors chicks and DUCKS, not chicks and SUCKS.

Sunday, February 17, 2002

True to my indecicive self, I had a 3-way tie on the Which Goddess are You? quiz. So, it seems that I am..



See which Greek Goddess you are.





See which Greek Goddess you are.





See which Greek Goddess you are.





Leave me a comment and tell me who you are!

Saturday, February 16, 2002

Thanks to Tara for reminding me to do this week's Friday Five!



1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? I used to have one of those little Easy Bake oven things when I was little, and I used to love cooking green beans. Dont ask, I dont know why! I also used to make sugar cookies with my mom all the time.



2. What's your signature dish? Humm, I suppose it would have to be cookies, since thats all I ever make!



3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe. Every time I cook! LOL. My favorite would be the time I was making some sort of cheese enchelada thing, and I had the tortilla in the bread oven thingey, and forgot it was in there, and it was black and smoking by the time I remembered..



4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal? Hummm, Canneloni or some other wonderfully sinful Italian dish! And the cheddar cheese soup from Le Cellier! (Sure, they dont really go together, who cares?) And some sort of wonderful chocolate dessert



5. What are you doing this weekend? Well, Im sort of cheating since its already Saturday, huh? I went to work for a whole hour this morning. Today I'm hoping to go to the gym, but I know I wont get around to it! I'm sending out my new Mary Kay catalogs and samples to my lovely customers. I may also print out my recipes and put them in my snazzy new recipe binder, and figure out which I want to cook tomorrow. No work tomorrow, so no idea what I'll do!

Thursday, February 14, 2002

I've got the bug again.



It always happens the same way, you see. I go through that Post-Disney Depression for a few weeks after I get back. Then, I dont really think about it much for the next month. I dont know if thats because I'm all Disney-d out for the time being, or if it helps me not wish I was there every five seconds ;) Well, anyway, a couple of months after I get back, I am ready to go again, and so now, right on schedule (two months to the day after I got back) I am SO ready to go again. Well, at least to start planning again. Of course, all three of my credit cards are still full from the last trip, plus I have Simucon coming up, so I cant go back as soon as Im hoping (Im thinking April, my credit cards are thinking 2012)



I think I'm leaning towards a cruise this time, but I would have to find someone to go with me. What I really wanna do is a 7-day cruise following 3 days at WDW, and then a week or two at WDW a few months later. If only I could get my butt in gear and really start booking some mary kay classes, I could have this paid for in weeks. I really need someone to motivate me and get my butt to work, but I guess I need to learn how to do that myself. Im waiting 30 more minutes on the UPS truck before I call my new customer to schedule a time to get together.



I know Im writing about finances a lot lately. Thats probably because its on my mind so much lately, because I feel so repressed by my lack of money, and my debt. There is so much I want to do that I cant until I get money- everything from cruises and vacations to riding lessons and training for Emmett, to just getting my hair done and paying my cell phone bill so that the number on my business cards actually works. I'm not the kind who needs a ton of money to be happy, I'd just like to be able to get a sandwich from Subway without a trip to the ATM. Plus, I get so much more excited going to work in the morning when I know Im earning money towards something like a vacation, rather than a paycheck I'll never see because it all goes straight to paying bills. I was so excited to put in extra hours before my Disney Trip (until I figured out that working 85 hours a week was making me very sick, but I digress..) knowing that every hour was another dessert at a favorite restaurant, another step towards paying for my room for a night. I had a great chart on my bedroom door where I filled in how much $ I had saved up to pay off my room deposits ($200 every other week when I got paid went to my room deposits for 2 months in a row. It was great!)

The way things are, I would have to work 810 hours just to pay off my credit cards and cell phone bill. I refuse to accept that. On the other hand, thats just 20 average skin care classes, which is about 30 hours. Or, its 115 basic sets. I know a girl who sold 200 in a day.



Perhaps its not time to abandon all hope. Perhaps I shall go call my customer now.

I can not believe I am admitting this, but last night I had an inappropriate dream about Steve Irwin. I swear, my love for Steve is strictly non-sexual! I think this dream stemmed from the combo of watching Croc hunter before I fell asleep, looking at pornstar shoes before falling asleep, and the fantastic poster Rich got me of Steve holding a croc that says "You're a bit naughty!" I am a victim of circumstance!
The UPS man is being slow. According to the tracking site, my package has been on his truck since 7am. Thats five and a half hours, and it isnt here yet!



Just last night I was feeling frustrated. I was thinking how all I really needed was one new customer, and I would be able to get the ball rolling, because that one new customer has friends who have friends who have friends... Well, this morning as I was getting ready for work, I heard someone call in on the radio looking for a Mary Kay consultant. I called that minute, and ended up with a new customer! Funny how things work out, isnt it? So, I'm here waiting for my new samples so I can call her back and set up a time for us to get together. I am so, so excited about this. Hopefully it will turn out to be just the break I needed! All I need is $300 so I can get my phone turned back on. Is that so much to ask? Really? I could also really use $60 to get my hair done and $400 to put another mary kay order in. Maybe this lady will really, really need a lot of stuff. Or have friends who do. Keep your fingers crossed for me!



I have to admit that half my excitement about all these samples coming in is that I get to play "dress up" and try them all on.... as "research" of course. Its a tough job, but somebody's got to do it!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

I have decided that what I really need is a great pair of kickass pornstar-style shoes that will make me absolutly delerious with shoe-joy every time I wear them. So, I shall now go forth and scour the net for good shoes. Email me any good ones you find! Better yet, just buy them for me!



The only problem? Where shall I get the money for my porn star shoes? Where do pornstars get the money for their shoes? Oh.. humm, this may be a problem.
Check me out, I added both an About Me section, as well as a list of what I'm reading. Go check them out and let me know how they look!
Today's Fab Thrift Store Finds:



Ernest Hemmingway's A Moveable Feast, 25 cents.

Frommer's Guide to Southeast Asia, 25 Cents

Fit for Life- 25 cents

Waiting to Exhale (Book, not movie)- 25 cents

3 issues of Woman's Day, from which I will get lovely recipes- 25 cents each

Issue of Conde Nast Traveler, which says it will tell me the best rooms and restaurants for less in Paris, Vienna, Budapest, Munich, Prague, Granada, Rome, and Florence- 25 cents.



Total $ spent-$2

Approximate Retail Value of stuff bought: $55

Go me.

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

I forgot to mention that there is a sweepstakes on my Mary Kay site where you can win $10,000, and if you enter on my site and win, I win too! I could really use $10,000. In fact, here's what I'd use it on:



$5000 would go to paying off credit cards, so there goes half!

$2000 would buy me all the stuff on my Amazon wish list, plus a few other items

$1000 would be set aside for truck payments & insurance, so I wouldnt have to worry about it for a while

$600 would get me a ton of stuff for my Mary Kay inventory.

Then, I'd probably go visit Rich for a while, which would cost around $1000 for a week.

This leaves me a whopping $400, which I would use as general spending money.



I'm also giving anyone who enters the contest 10% off their next internet order, so go enter already!

Monday, February 11, 2002

My youngest sister will be here tomorrow and the next day to celebrate her birthday. We're getting old. I'm very excited, because she will be here without her kids and husband, which means I will actually get to spend time with her. I plan to make some chilli, which I think I may be capable of doing with her there to help. Keep your fingers crossed. (Mental note.. buy more insurance for the kitchen) Any recommendations what goes well with chilli for dinner?



I love when I know I have good stuff coming in the mail. Within a week or so, I should be getting my new vet books, as well as my new mary kay catalogs and samples of the new lip products. For some silly reason, its much easier to sell things when you have samples and catalogs. Imagine that, huh?



I miss having Kelly online all the time. Come back, my Kelly, come back!

Saturday, February 09, 2002

Congratulations...

Your husband's name is Rich and you have 0 children. You're a Kindergarten teacher who drives to work every day in a White Really Big Truck.

It's truly a wonderful life when you consider the countless romantic nights you have spent with Rich in your house in Texas.




Okay, Rich, whats with the no kids!?



Leave me a comment and tell me what you get.



ed. note- the 2nd time I played, I ended up living with Rich in a mansion in Ireland with our 2 kids, where I was a wedding planner who drives a laser red toyota tundra. I think I like this life better!

Thursday, February 07, 2002

The Friday Five:

Have you ever had braces? Any other teeth trauma? No braces, but I've had a root canal and a wisdom tooth pulled.

Ever broken any bones? I broke my mom's little toe when I was 4 ;)

Ever had stitches? Nope! Keep your fingers crossed!

What are the stories behind some of your [physical] scars? The only scar I really have is from when I fell on the playground in 5th grade

How do you plan to spend your weekend? Work in the mornings, watching some good ol' travel channel, cleaning my fish tanks, catching up on some vet study stuff, reading, yada yada ya
Tonight on an MTV True Life show about plastic surgery, a man got calf implants. Calf implants! (And yes, we're talking legs, not livestock!) He said "Well, its easier than working out." And, quoth the girl who got a nose job, "Maybe now I'll have the confidence to accomplish the other goals in my life, being in playboy and maybe finding a boyfriend." Those are your goals in life!?!? ::breaks into tears:: Please let my future daughters have a better grasp of what life is about.

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

I miss him