Thursday, February 06, 2003

Today I made three beautiful postcards. I’m going to be sad to part with them, but they weren’t made to keep. I bought about ten dollars worth of stickers at the Scrapbook Store (that’s actually its name!) today. Ten dollars doesn’t buy anywhere near as many stickers as you would think it does. Plus, most of them were actually for my scrapbook, so my plan to come home with tons of stickers to use for my Postcard X creations didn’t exactly work out. I did, however, manage to leave the store with eighty-three cents still in my bank account, so all is not lost.



I had an extra delivery on my usual Wednesday morning run to Springfield today- I had to pick up a package here in Branson and drop it off at the Assembly of God headquarters. Mom came along with me today, because the original plan did not include said shop, and we were going to have about three hours to shop before I had to head south towards the bank. Lets just say that all did not go according to plan.



First of all, the AOG Headquarters is HUGE! Not just really big, not just really really big, but huge! Massive! Mammoth! After pulling up to the first building marked Assembly of God Headquarters, I was getting ready to go in the door when I noticed that the next building over was ALSO marked AOG, and this time it matched the description that my boss had given me much better. I looked back and forth between the buildings and couldn’t help but ask “Just how many assemblies does God HAVE?” So, I climbed back in the car and drove over there. However, there were no parking spots near the door I thought I was supposed to go in, so I had to park approximately eight thousand miles away (somewhere in Ireland, I think.) and walk. Of course, when I got to THAT door, it said Employees Only, and I had to walk approximately half a mile (serious this time!) up to the front entrance, with super cold wind blowing in my face. Once inside, the receptionist guy informed me that I was in the wrong building. I needed to go back on to the main street, through the stop light, and three buildings down. Did I mention that the Headquarters is HUGE? As I exited back into the crisp wind, I went to tuck my pen back behind my ear when I noticed it was leaking all over, and I now had blue hands. Don’t you love how things always seem to happen at once? I walked the half-mile back to my car, thankful to at least have the wind to my back this time. Thankfully, the through-the-light-and-three-buildings-down building turned out to be the right one. The whole escaped took an hour. An Hour! Sometimes I really don’t think they pay me enough to do this.



Much to my joy, I had enough time to go back to Hobby Lobby to buy the bag I didn’t buy the last time I was there but should have (Its an adorable dark denim little handbag with rainbow-striped handles. It’s the sort that’s in the craft section and made for decorating, but I love it as-is, and plan to use it to tote my postcard making stuff around with me so I can work on them at work). The best part is that when I looked at it a week or so ago, it was $2.80, but this time it had been marked down to $1.76! I am overjoyed.



Scene that just transpired in my kitchen:



Me: (inspecting a pastery) Is this donut lemon or apple?

Mom: Humm, I don’t know. Taste it.

Me: I’m afraid. You do it.

Mom: (tries some of the yellow stuff) Humm. Apple-y. But also kind of lemony.

Me: (tastes it and pauses to think) I think its yellow-flavored.

Mom: That’s it!



Do you ever stop to think about flavors? I am always amused that for instance, grape-flavored candy tastes nothing like grapes. And where did we get this sour apple flavor from? Peach is usually pretty close. Strawberry is not at all.



So what does blue taste like to you? Yellow? How does Tuesday smell?



While I was thinking about London tonight, I was reminded of the time when Allison from Bluishorange.com spent time in London taking classes, so I went over to her website to re-read those days. About two hours later, I’m still caught up in reading the archives, and haven’t even gotten around to the London part. This is reminding me why I used to love her journal so much.



And gheez! I left out an important detail yesterday when I posted my buttcrack-of-dawn work story! Remember how before I left home at the horrible hour of 5:30, I kept telling mom “I am going to die. I am going to fall asleep, and run off the road and die in a fiery crash”. Well, on the way home, I smelled something weird, and oddly enough, my first thought was “I bet there was an accident.” Next thing I know, I’m driving past a truck which has just run off the road and smashed into the high rock walls that rise up on either side of the highway. There is smoke pouring out of the engine, and a moment later I can hear the sirens of approaching cop cars.



Another note from that morning: I realized I have been a Mary Kay consultant for a long time when I looked at the pink sunrise meeting the blue sky and thought “Wow. That looks just like the Cotton Candy eye shadow duet.”



Approximatly 7 minutes later, in the same kitchen:

Me: Oops. Forgot about my enchiladas.

Mom: I thought I heard the oven.

Me: (transferring enchiladas onto plate) Hey, what does blue taste like?

Mom: (at her computer) Did you know the cat is the only animal mentioned in the Bible?

Me: Really? Humm.

Mom: What does blue taste like? Blueberries?

Me: They cant be the ONLY animals not mentioned. Do they mentioned walruses?

Mom: Kind like blueberries, but you know… blue. Its hard to describe.

Me: Do they mention coral? That’s an animal you know.

Mom: I don’t know.

Me: Like blueberries? Humm. Ok. What about 3-toed sloths? Do they mention them?



And here I always thought that I only carried on 2 disjointed conversations at once in IM’s. Apparently not. Anyway, I’ve been asking everyone what blue tastes like, since I just typed that question a few minutes ago. So far:



Jim: A bit like purple, but less red.

Kelly: Sweet and Spongey. Like a twinkee.

Katie M: Raspberry!

Erin: Raspberry, duh! (We should note here that Katie and Erin are both redheads. Does this mean anything? Probably not.)

Kelley: I imagine its kind of tart.





My newest addiction is What Not To Wear on BBC. I want Trinny and Susannah to come live in my closet and help me.



Speaking of clothing, if you have not yet registered for the fabulous NYC shopping spree on my MK Website, go register already! Its $5k of shopping money, airfare, and staying in the Waldorf Astoria, and if you win, I win, and I really need the clothes, man.





So do you ever find yourself sitting back and thinking “I wonder what Crystal and Erin talk about.” Well, here is an exclusive repeat of parts of tonight’s conversation, simply because it was brilliant.



Crystal: will you move to London with me?

Erin: yes

Erin: yes I will

Crystal: hooray!

Crystal: I want to move there.

Crystal: I have never been there, but it seems like my kind of town

Erin: lol

Erin: Its very... different

Crystal: I think we would have a lovely time.

Sparkly Twinkie: smashing dahling :)

Crystal: where shall we live?

Erin: In a flat

Erin: near Kensington Garden

Erin: so we can go riding

Crystal: works for me!

Crystal: I am leaning towards Notting Hill

Crystal: did you know that a certain Mr Bloom has an apartment there?

Erin: Oh DOES he now

Erin: Well Jude and Ewan live around there as well somewhere

Crystal: ooh.

Crystal: I wonder if he ever goes out to get the mail naked.

Crystal: I like to think that he does.

Erin: I do

Erin: oh. I mean. of COURSE he does

Crystal: ::nods::

Crystal: I say we move next year.

Erin: sounds lovely

Crystal: I have a salt shaker and four coffee mugs. What can you bring in to the deal?

Erin: I have dishes

Crystal: fantastic! I bet those will come in handy.

Erin: and....a CD player

Erin: and a pan to cook eggs in

Crystal: I have lots of Disney resort mugs!

Erin: woohoo!

Erin: That will be useful

Crystal: and a tv and dvd player!

Erin: to drink our tea in the morning

Crystal: right!

Crystal: I have more skin care and makeup than we could ever need.

Erin: woohoo!

Crystal: I think we're set.

Erin: Oh but we will need it

Erin: to snag the boys

Crystal: right!

Crystal: we will live a fascinating life.

Crystal: and eventually someone will make a movie about us.

Crystal: Sort of a Bridget Jones Diary meets Notting Hill meets...em... Monty Pythong.

Crystal: ROFL

Crystal: PYTHON

Erin: Monty Pythong... is that a porno?

Crystal: omg, HORRIBLE King Arthur in bad underwear mental images!

Crystal: "Dressing, undressing, knitting exciting underwear..."

Crystal: DUDE, how did we never come up with that before?

Erin: LOL

Erin: I have no idea

Crystal: you know I'm going to have to post half of this conversation.

Sparkly Twinkie: lol thats fine

Crystal: this is high quality.

Crystal: pythong! Pythong!

Erin: When we make it into a film I will make the credits anyway

Crystal: Victoria Pythong and the Quest for the Holy Knickers.

Erin: They could be gold, and glow

Crystal: so, um, flats in Notting Hill are cheap, right?

Erin: yeah, if you want to sell yourself everynight for years

Crystal: oh good, that was the plan.

Erin: yeah I figured you wouldn't have too much of a problem

Erin: we can become high priced whores

Erin: and pay for our rent

Crystal: ok, so its Bridget Jones meets Notting Hill meets Monty PythoN meets Moulin Rouge

Erin: Right!

Crystal: without the death

Erin: *puts on fishnets*

Crystal: or Nicole Kidman

Erin: right

Erin: better that way really

Crystal: absolutly.

Erin: well Crystal I need to get to bed

Erin: I have class bright and early

Erin: and now nightmares about knights in corsets

Crystal: they make you get up bright and early to make sausage these days?

Erin: well... to study Amish people

Erin: this time

Crystal: Frankly, I worry about the quality of education you are getting up there sometimes.



Did anyone watch American Idol tonight? I turned it on for the last minute or two. Is Kimberly actually GONE? That’s just WRONG! She was supposed to win. Something is very screwy with that, yo.



Seeing that Kel posted a freaky dream over at washingwishes, I shall also share mine from the other night. The very simple basis was this: My dad was smoking a lot of pot. I kept trying to take it away from him, and he would hide it, trying to be sneaky. Mom and I now have a running joke about dad being a druggie thanks to this dream.



Today mom told me that she and dad are discussing driving to Arizona for a week in April. Flying? No, dad won’t fly. I argued that if he drives, it will take him a week to get there. Anyway, to get to the point, I am now faced with deciding whether or not to go. On the plus side, it’s a trip to somewhere other than here. I could sit in the back of the car and read and write and other such fabulous things! I could pick up postcards from truck stops and eat gas station food. Those things excite me. On the bad side? My dad is the worst driver in the WORLD, and refuses to let anyone else drive. Also, my parents are not much fun to be with in a confined space for any period of time. And someone would have to come watch our animals. I would have abandonment issues about Tallulah, and I really don’t trust anyone to not kill my fish. Plus, a whole week of having the house to myself would be fantastic. Wonderful. Blissful. But perhaps a bit lonely? What would you do if you were me?



On this same day I get the trip news, I am also informed that my oldest sister wants me to come live in San Francisco with her for four months to babysit her kids for about an hour a day. As much as I would really, really like to live in SF for a while, I think that four months is much too long. Also, I do not think I could live with my sister. We don’t exactly see eye-to-eye on…em…anything. But on the other side- a free apartment! In San Francisco! That would be an experience, to say the least. Maybe? Probably not. There is NO WAY I could leave Lula Jane for four months, and equally no way that I would make her live there. Plus, I would be away from my horse for some of the best riding months of the year. I told mom to tell her that I would come out for two weeks. That seems like a decent compromise to me. Maybe just one? Not sure.



In case this isn’t enough vacation sort of news for you, next Friday (which is also known as Valentines Day), my sister MaryAnn, my mom, and I shall be journeying afar to Kansas City to hit the casinos. Just what two married chicks and a single girl should be doing on V-day, don’t you think? We do.



I am working my way towards getting rid of my Netfix membership. I never watch my dvd’s in a timely manner anymore, so its just not practical. For the price I pay, I will instead buy one dvd a month, and still have enough left over for a rental or two. I think that will be much more satisfying. My first new purchase will be the theatrical release of Fellowship, because its bonus disk has so many splendid things that the extended ones don’t, including some footage of Orlando rehearsing some battle scenes that is hotter than boiling liquid sex.



Today I realized that while living in LA next summer, I can actually take classes from Neena and Veena. My life will be complete.





I’m cleaning out the voice notes in my phone, which are generally quite amusing. I just came across one with a note of something I wanted to mention here. When walking into a gas station one day, a man held the door open for me and said “Go right ahead, beauty queen.” Very weird.



I just went to check on Lula Jane and found her asleep in mom’s bathroom sink. This no longer surprises me.



I feel like I had such a productive day at work. Not because I got anything work-related done that was out of the ordinary, but because I had enough time while I was waiting for lab stuff at the doctors’ offices that I had time to write two postcards and finally finish the Council of Elrond chapter in Fellowship. Now, I love Tolkien deeply, but can I take this time to thank Peter Jackson for making the Council scene much shorter and to the point? Thanks, PJ! (Plus the whole “You have my sword…” “…and my bow!” is a lot sexier than “Legolas and Aragorn are going with you.”)



I discovered today that my father is really not a very good friend to his friends. His friend Van had told us a couple of weeks ago that his wife would be going in to the hospital soon to be tested for cancer, and that he was really, really worried. I felt so bad for him because it was evident how much it was effecting him (they’ve been married over 50 years) and how scared he was. Well, today I asked dad how Van’s wife was, and he said “I don’t know.” I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t called to check. I said as much, and dad said something along the lines of “Well, his phone number is in the book if you want to know.” Can you believe that!? I try to keep up on everything going on in my friends lives, from relationship statuses to checking in on how a test they were worried about went- I cant imagine letting something this big slip. Mom called me later in the afternoon to say that she had decided to call and check, and that Van’s wife did indeed have cancer. I’m really hoping that she will be ok now- Van is such a great guy. He is the sort that goes to nursing homes to visit strangers. He’s going to teach me to play guitar. I hate to see such sadness and pain fall into the lives of such good people.





Also, I finally added humans to the cast list, and updated the fish.

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