Sunday, August 20, 2006

holy crap!

Wow, I'm terribly impressed with myself.

I've been on an African music kick again, and I just opened a song that I downloaded that is in Swahili, and completly *freaked out* because I understood more than half of the words. How freaking cool is that? Granted the song basically repeats the same 8 sentences over and over, but still! I downloaded it because I understood the title (Jambo Bwana- hello, sir.), assuming that was all that I'd get. Very nice surprise!

Six languages down, six million to go!


Just a few days ago I posted a picture of my TV Boyfriend Dave Salmoni. Well, today I came across this yummy new Gap ad featuring my other TV Boyfriend, Jeremy Piven!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

I’m hitting that time in the year where I just don’t think I can deal with another idiot. The traffic is driving me nuts. I’m actually looking forward to winter, when all of the tourists go home, and just leave my little corner of the world alone.

I have had THREE people in the past few weeks bitch at me because the phones in our rooms don’t do long distance calls. A) Our phone system is not my decision, b) get a damn cell phone, idiot.

Just to keep things interesting, the hotel across the street from here was robbed last night. Apparently the thief was really stupid, because he asked the front desk person to show him a room first, which means she got a really good look at him. Apparently he was really, really stupid, because someone said they saw the car down at the gas station last night, surrounded by 6 cop cars. Apparently he was really, really, really stupid, because he only got away with $7. This stuff is too good to make up.

Everything inside me tells me to leave behind the life of sitting at a desk all day and answering stupid questions from rude people, to pack up and go travel, but unfortunately sitting behind the desk and dealing with stupid people is what brings in the money that will eventually fund the travel. So until I randomly stumble upon a $20,000 bill on the street, here I sit.


Dear Fashion Type People- The late 80s/early 90s already happened. Please stop trying to make them happen again? Thanks.

Dear TV people- "The Fantasia Barrino Story"? Seriously? I mean...seriously?

Dear Sun- We get the point, you're hot. Now can you maybe lay off just a little? Ten degrees or so? You're really overworking yourself.

Dear I really want to win that $50,000 vacation you're giving away. Can you maybe rig it so that I win? Thanks!

Dye my darling!

My hair and I have been having a disagreement for the last several years. My natural haircolor is a sort of medium brown, while my haircolors of choice range through various shades of auburn and red, depending on my mood.

Every now and then, my hair will cooperate, and turn red. Usually, not so much. The funny thing is that it almost always does the exact opposite of what it should. If I pick up a box of dye that shows the results as being a very mild reddish-brown, by hair will go full out red. However, the more outstanding the red on the box, the more likely my hair will end up brown.

A few days ago I noticed that my natural shade was once again making quite the appearance (since I dye my hair so often, and have such a short attention span for colors, I use the semi-permanant dyes that last around a month, so they just fade out rather than cause roots), and the really scary thing is that instead of its old medium brown color, my natural haircolor is now turning a light golden brown. This is much, much too close to possibly being associated with blonde for me, and thus it must go away very, very quickly.

I was in the mood for something super bright, maybe a little unusual (although I knew I couldn't keep it that way for long, because our tribal fusion costume for dance includes hairpieces, and my hair needs to match them at least a little) so I picked up a box of the new L'Oreal Color Pulse stuff- the boxes show incredibly vibrant shades of red, which was just what I wanted. I got the iced coffee shade, and a few days later, finally got the chance to use it.

The dye package claims "vibrant ultra-shiny color". The package itself is metallic orange, and the mousse, when applied to the head, turns a pleasing shade of pumpkin. One would guess these would all be good signs towards very red hair, no?

Half an hour of dying later, I'm sure you can guess the results.

My hair is a very boring brown.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Every now and then I hop over to the page that has all the stats for my webpage, and check out what people have searched for that led them to my site. Today, the list was topped by "Dave Salmoni pictures."

I found this kind of funny because although it has been like a year since I first saw that "Into the Lions Den" show and Dave joined my list of TV boyfriends (along with Hank Azaria and Jeremy Piven), it was just recently on again, and I wondered if I had ever posted about his wonderfulness and my desire to have his babies. I guess that I can assume, according to the search strings, that at some point I did!

The sad thing? I did a google search, so I could supply you people with the Dave pictures you're searching for, and there are only like FOUR on the whole entire internets! That is a crime against humanity and women who like biceps.

Here's one of the few I could find:

I promise to whip out my camera next time the show is on and take some pictures of the TV. Nobody should be deprived.

But seriously, y'all, I claimed him first.
I am starting to think that being unable to leave my house early for anything is genetic, encoded into my dna, unavoidable.

Well, it isn't so much not being able to *leave* early as it is to have things go according to my early plan. Take yesterday- I left the house an hour early for dance so I could stop by the mall and pay my store credit card bill. About 20 minutes down the road from my house, I realize that I didn't pack any pants to wear for dance class. I'm wearing jeans, so there's no way I can go to class without different pants- I don't care how cute your jeans are, you can not do splits in them. Plus, it would be really, really hot and sweaty. Ick.

So I stop at the Target about half an hour from my house, and realize that I don't have my credit card with me, only the $20 cash that I was going to pay towards a workshop we're doing next month. Oh well, pants are the more immediate need, right? I scour the clothing section for the cute gouchos they had on sale for $9 a few weeks ago, since I wanted another pair anyway. (So comfy!). No luck. Apparently they are a little early for winter, and all they have are big heavy sweatpants. BAD idea for dance when your studio's air condition is sucky, and it is 90 degrees outside.

I *finally* find a not-quite-ugly pair of capri length sweats that don't look too thick for about $15, buy them, and am on my way again.

I'm driving along, grumbling about having to spend money that I don't really have on pants I will never use. I wonder if I could just wear them with the tags on and return them? That would be totally disgusting, huh? Damn conscience! I can NOT believe that I remembered to bring the extra fan for the studio, brought my costume box in case we were doing dress rehersal, brought my zills, everything but pants.

And then it hits me. I brought my costume box! It has pants in it! I can just wear those! I just wasted all that time for nothing!

So of course, instead of having time to go pay my bill at the mall, I get to stop at the library just long enough to drop off some overdue books, and then go to class.

At least I get to return the pants with a clear conscience!

So today I set my clock for 12:30 so I could leave the house an hour early for work and go to the local branch of the store where I need to pay my bill. I check my e-mail, take a shower, get dressed, and through some freakish black hole in time, it is already 2pm! I normally leave home at 2:30, so there goes paying my bill again! So, back at the computer, I check the UPS tracking on the bag I ordered a while back, and it is supposed to be delivered today! I check outside where they usually leave packages, but it isn't there yet, which is weird since UPS usually comes by noon or 1. I hang around the house until around 2:35, just in case UPS shows up. Since my mom is out of town, if I don't get the package before I leave, it will sit outside all night, and I hate that!

I finally give up and leave the house for work. A quarter of a mile down the road from my house, the UPS truck is parked delivering a package. Ooooh, there aren't many houses between there and my house, so I turn around and go back home to wait. 5 minutes later they STILL haven't shown up, and I am now running 10 minutes late for work. The UPS truck comes around the corner and I'm all excited that I waited, but then it turns down the road before my house. GRR! I give up and leave, getting to work 10 minutes late. On a day that I got up an hour early. Grr!

There's a great story about my inability to speak English, but we'll save that for another post.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Extreme huh?

The local theme park, Silver Dollar City, is having its annual kids fest, and every day as I drive past on my way to work, I see their advertisement for "Extreme Parrots!". Now I just heard the ad for kidsfest on TV, including a mention of the Extreme Parrots. So, my question is this: Just how can parrots be extreme? Do they skydive, land on a mountain, and snowboard down? My brain just can not figure out any way in which parrots can be extreme. This made me come to the realization that I hvae a pet peeve about the overuse of the word "extreme" as a trendy word. When it is so overused that people start applying it to parrots? Then it is a problem.

At least they didn't spell it X-Treme, or something equally hideous. I'm not sure I could take it.

Babies of the 80's (X-posted from MySpace)

So, how great is it that Cartoon Network has been playing Pee-Wees Playhouse? (At the expense of Mission Hill, though, which makes me sad. Ill miss random perverted guy on the street the most. Luckily, he lives on at YouTube (NSFW)

The weird thing about the re-airing of Pee Wee is that although it has been twenty years TWENTY YEARS since I last saw these episodes, I remember them with astounding clarity. A certain storyline will pop up, and Im amazed that I remember it. (I totally had to make fruit juice ice cubes after Pee-Wee did!). And come on, Morpheous in chaps? If that isnt worth my TV viewing time, what is? Rejoice, children of the 80s, for our childhood has returned!

These last few days have been a sort of quiet period of recovery for me. My two youngest nieces (9 and 11) were at my house for an entire *week*, which despite my huge love for them, is way too long. Plus I had the Blogathon going on in the middle of their stay, which made it really bad timing. And oh! Sweet Blogathon! Thanks to you awesome people, I raised $200 for Doctors Without Borders this year! That is by far the best year Ive had so far- in the past my totals have been less than $100. Thank you all SO much, for both the donations and the late night encouragement! (And to Kellylou for the guestpost! Next year, you should drive over and well blog together! But no shots, or then I will not survive it.)

It is 5:30am, and tomorrow at work is going to be super-busy (more than 50 check-ins, YUCK!), so I should consider getting some sleep, or at least getting back into my seriously overdue library books, but I had the bright idea to hit the treadmill at 4:30, so now I am all awake. The debut of our tribal fusion dance is coming up in September, which until now has seemed like a really long away, but is coming up FAST. Impending performance costume top that is basically a bra = treadmill. Im lucky that I dont generally worry about my body much, and lost most of what was left of my modesty back in my days of working at Dixie, (I wonder what ever happened to that guy Wes. He was awfully cute. And Todd. And wow, I should go work there again.) but even for me, the idea of dancing around in front of a fairly large crowd of people in your bra can motivate you into a little extra workout time. Dont expect me to be giving up chocolate or anything crazy, though. If I ever become THAT girl, you have permission to shoot me.

It sounds like a storm is rolling in the perfect soundtrack for sleep.