Sunday, December 20, 2009

The year in searchyness

I was looking at my website's stats today... okay, wait, that is a lie. I was looking at the only part of my site stats that I find interesting today, which is what people typed into their search engine of choice that ultimately sent them my way. I do this every few months, because the results never fail to please, but today I discovered a feature that compiles all of the search strings from the YEAR! Oooh, ahh! So in another deligtful year-end wrap up, I offer you the top 10 search strings that brought people to my site, plus a few extras for good measure:

1. Adventure List (Actually, a lot of the top 20 or so were variations of this, like "list of adventures" and such, so I am going to skip those.) I love that this is the #1 thing that brought people here! Adventure in itself is worthwhile. If you have a list and I have not yet seen it, please share!

2. 2 headed animals- Okay, wow. You post ONE photo of a two-headed cow on your site, like... YEARS ago, and this is still the #2 thing bringing people here? I'm a little worried about humanity. Although I guess there are worse things you could be searching for...

3. Highlighted hair- Again, I had highlights once. FIVE YEARS AGO. Crap, am I totally past my glory days??

4. love many things (and lots of variations on that)- Given that it is my url, this makes sense. But I wonder how many people were actually looking for me?

5. Fattest man in the world- Gawsh, I'm just... I'm honored! I wonder what # I am on google if you search for that. Let me check.

Okay, I looked through 7 pages of google results, and I wasn't there. And then, because I love you (and omg you owe me now), I looked through Google Images for 8 pages, and will now never eat again.

So here's what's disturbing. Again, the post that is bringing me up is from something like three or four years ago! And that also means that people are clicking through MORE than seven pages of results (my own personal loss of patience point), still totally soaking up fattest dude stuff. Really?

6. The Sims Grim Reaper- This was on my blog so long ago, it was Sims 1. (But oh man, when I ever get a desktop again, and get Sims 3... there will be some excellent blogs to come!)

7. I hate Suntrust- The fact that so many people found me by searching for this brings a little tear of joy to my eye. Join hands, brothers and sisters, and share the hate!

8. Suntrust extended overdraft fee- Yeah, I should count this as a variation of #7, but it is just too beautiful.

9. Taco bell sauce sayings- Yeah, we have those here.

10. Brownie magic carpet- Oh. Um, of course! I totally wrote about that... um.. never? What exactly IS a brownie magic carpet? Do you get to go all Aladdin flying around, and then EAT it? Wait, it combines travel and chocolate? I think I might have to search for this now!

Honorable Mentions:

  • pictures of good looking italian men
  • flipflops
  • bubble nests
  • sean astin speedo
  • armadillo roadkill
  • tiki gods
  • scary houses
  • dead manatees
  • sex in the bed (kinky!)
  • mud me
  • real bats flying (as opposed to fake ones, I guess?)
  • naked mole rats
  • monkey coconut drink holders
  • pink speedo
  • fire naked
  • scrapbook punchers (I know what they mean, but I am picturing people who hate scrapbooking so much they get violent!)
  • new clear fish discovered
  • stupid oops
  • pet wombats
  • real magic castle
  • lion with peacock wings (AWESOME. I want a tattoo of this!!!)
  • an apple sprout, what to do with yellow starbursts
  • bad whales (do you whack them on the nose with newspaper?)
  • stop being a zombie in the sims (I am so glad they added "in the sims")
  • Tasmanian devil costume how to make (I wonder if it is a costume for a person, or for a tasmanian devil?)
  • How far will suntrust let you overdraft (I don't know what you are planning, but I support it.)
  • list oof adventures (I am tempted to rename my adventure list this!)
  • chicks with mohawks porn
  • wash your arm (possibly after the mohawk chick porn?)

and finally:

"In harry potter why dont they just dump out the potion"- THANK YOU. I have been asking that since book 6. If you find out, let me know!

I do aim to please, so here is my best attempt at making as many of you happy as possible:

for my blog readers

So what brought YOU over to my little corner of the world?


Kate said...

Ahaha! These are awesome!

I made the mistake of one "Rule 34" comment, and you do NOT want to know what people have been wanting to Rule 34 to get to my blog.

Anonymous said...

The writer of has written a superior article. I got your point and there is nothing to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not disagree with: The keyboard is mightier than the pen, and the pen is mightier than the sword, but the atom bomb kicks ass... I will be back.