Monday, August 02, 2010

Alice in Wonderland

I can't remember if I've posted about her here yet, (And I am entirely too lazy to look through my archives) but about the time I moved back to Missouri, we kind of semi-adopted another cat. Actually, she adopted us. I named her Alice after Alice Cullen because she pretty much just showed up at our house one day like "Hi, I live here now. We're gonna be friends!" She isn't technically OURS... she just shows up a couple of times a day for food and milk and head scratches. And I'm pretty sure if I get any more cats, I officially qualify for Crazy Cat Lady status, but seriously, I am at that point in my life where they pretty much flock to me, so I should just accept it.

Anyway, today something happened that made me laugh incredibly hard. I can't believe I didn't see this coming, but my boy cat Jasper... is in love with Alice. (That is totally only funny if you've read/seen Twilight, I guess. Sorry if you are too punk rock for that.) Jasper is my "special little snowflake" of a cat... emphasis on special. He is pretty much afraid of everything, including air. He has a very strict policy of NO HUGS, NOT EVER. Actually, if you Google Images "no hugs, not ever", Jasper is the very first result. I am not kidding. Which is kind of sad, because that phrase comes from this pic by Lucy Knisley:

Her kitty Linney has a pretty strict policy, as well.

ANYWAY, Jasper is pretty much afraid of life. Back when I lived across the hall from Ashlee, it took about four months of us being neighbors before she was allowed to pet him. He lets me love him up, but I think that is mostly because I have the opposable thumbs and can open the cans of kitty food.

So imagine my surprise today when Alice showed up outside my big sliding glass door in the living room, giving me a look that said "Um, a little milk, here? It's like 800 degrees out here!" and Jasper RAN to the door and started trying to get out to be with her. WTF, cat? After watching him go nuts for a minute, I slid the door open just a crack so he could sniff her. Jas is a strictly indoor kitty... leaves and sky and grass and stuff are TERRIFYING, you know. So of course, he started trying to PUSH THE DOOR open to get to her.

My little boy is in love.

After a minute of watching him pathetically try to get to her to profess his love (don't worry, he's neutered... which is kinda sad because they'd have freaking adorable babies) I finally said screw it and just pushed the door open wide enough for him to stick his head out to sniff her better. He didn't even care when she hissed at him... he HAD to be close to her!!

Eventually, I totally gave in and just slid the door open. My boy who is terrified of rainbows and lollipops and fluffy white clouds WENT OUTSIDE to see her. But of course, Alice being Alice was all "Screw this, it is 800 degrees out here, I want in there with the air conditioning."

So Alice walked right into my house.

I don't know what kind of kitty logic she had going on... she's never been allowed in the house, but she was just like "Hmm, yeah, this is ok." Jasper did the Jasper thing and hid under the coffee table, staring at her with a look of total all-consuming love.

You think I'm kidding?

He just sat there with that exact look on his face until Cricket got brave and tried to sniff Alice, which made Alice hiss and run back outside. Where, of course, she sat like a little tease, playing with Jasper's heart.

So, I'm pretty sure Jasper is now off somewhere writing emo poetry about his live-in girlfriend leaving him or something. I just can't believe it never occurred to me that of COURSE Jasper would be in love with Alice.

I bet Alice totally saw it coming, though.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I love this post!