Sunday, August 15, 2010

Car Update

My pretty pretty car (her name is Apple) has been gone for a few days now. I knew I was behind on payments (two), but I sent in some money about a week ago (About 1/3 of a payment, but it was something! And all I had.) So imagine my delight when my mom woke me up on Wednesday, shrieking "They are TAKING your CAR!" I had been asleep, so I threw on some pants and ran upstairs (soooo wishing I'd taken a minute to add a bra, in retrospect...) and went out to talk to the dudes in the tow truck. I believe my opening line was something totally intelligent like "Um... what's up?"

The guys were nice enough to let me get all the stuff out of my car- they don't have to do that. Poor guy tried to talk bands with me when I said my cds in the car were mostly local bands so I wanted to make sure they weren't lost, but I was not really up for conversation. And then they drove off with my car. I went inside and cried, a lot. For about ten minutes. And then I figured the more productive thing to do would be to sit my ass down and write some articles to make some money, in sad, pathetic hopes of bringing poor Apple home.

I wanted to avoid calling Chrysler (Don't ask why my loan for a Ford Mustang is through Chrysler Financial, I have no idea, either. I think they offered us a lower rate than Ford?) because a) every time I have had to call them in the past, or they have called me, they have been absolute BITCHES, and b) my cell phone plan is pay-as-you-go. I put about $10 on it every few months so that I have enough minutes for emergencies and a handfull of texts, but I have a feeling that calling to get info on getting my car back will NOT be a 5 minute deal, and I'd rather not spend a fortune on it. So I submitted an e-mail through their website, saying something along the lines of:

"O hai!" (Ok, maybe this isn't a DIRECT quote from my e-mail...) "U haz reposessed mah car, no warninz. Plz give back, kthnx? Here mah account # and contact infoz. I no haz tellyphone, sry."

(I am now thinking I seriously SHOULD have sent the e-mail in LOLCat speak.)

Anyway, they replied to my (more intelligently worded, I promise) message with:

Thank you for your email to the Chrysler Financial Customer Assistance
Center.


I apologize for your current situation. Please contact Chrysler
Financial at (phone # here) to discuss with our representative your
concerns.


As your dedicated finance partner, we appreciate the opportunity to
serve you. Should you have any questions about this email or your
account in general, please contact our Customer Service Center at (800 #).

Wow, THANKS, Mr. Form-letter! That was totally helpful. Except not. So I messaged them back:

I apologize but it looks like someone overlooked my note in my original e-mail that said I do not currently have a phone so I am unable to call. And as you can image it is hard to get to a place with a phone when you suddenly find yourself without a car. If you could help me with the information I requested I would appreciate it.

Kind of snarky, but dude, they just took my car with zero warning, so I was feeling the snark. Of course, the next day came the following reply...

Thank you for your email to the Chrysler Financial Customer Assistance Center.

Unfortunately, you will need to contact the redemption department by phone for the information needed to redeem your vehicle. Again, the phone number is (phone # here).

As your dedicated finance partner, we appreciate the opportunity to serve you. Should you have any questions about this email or your account in general, please contact our Customer Service Center at (800 #).


Seriously??

The other reason I don't want to call is that I totally suck at being an adult. (As if getting my car repo'd wasn't enough evidence of that...) I have panic attacks, and my current insurance and money-less states mean I'm almost out of pretty, pretty Xanax. There's probably a 50-50 chance that when I do call them, it will go something like this:

Them: "Evil Bastard Chrysler Financial, what do you want?"

Me: *whimpery noises*

Them: "Hellooooooo? What do you want?"

Me: I... I... I miiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssss myyyyyyyyyyyyy Apppppplllleeee! Bring her hoooooooooome! *sniffles and gasping for breath*

Them: (muffled) Um, Bob? I have some chick on the line sobbing about... apples? I can't tell. She might be hyperventilating. What should I tell her?

Bob: Well, duh, you just say "As your dedicated finance partner, we appreciate the opportunity to serve you." Don't you read the manuals, Stan?

Me: *passes out from lack of oxygen and hangs up*

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is how it will go down. Maybe I'll do the super-adult thing and ask my mommy to call.

The really sad part? (Like the rest wasn't pathetic enough?) I've been making car payments EVERY MONTH since I was 17. Given that I'm now 28-and-eight months, that's something like 135 payments. I've paid a total of over $24,000 over the years. (Interest sucks.) I was down to oweing LESS than $4,000. EPIC. FAIL.

2 comments:

WithABigRedBow said...

Although I am sure my apologies offer you little comfort, I hope things get better for you and that you get Apple back.

Jackie said...

I, too, hope that you get Apple back. Hang in there, it's a great big beautiful tomorrow. P.S., a friend of mine had panic attacks and used to exercise whenever one would strike - not sure if that would help, but just in case.