Friday, March 04, 2011

Herrrre, kitty!

*In order for this post to make sense, it is imperative that you know that my cat Jasper's full name is Freddy Jasper Jacob Dante Alberto Bandito VonMonkeypants. It's a long story. And a long name.*

Do you ever do something fairly normal (to you) but then realize how odd it must look to your neighbors?

My special snowflake of a kitty, Jasper, has recently begun to think he is incredibly fierce, and must go out into the back yard at least a couple of times a day to prove this. Usually after a couple of minutes, he finds himself terrified of the wind or the sun or the clouds and "knocks" on the door to ask to come in to hide. Other times, however, hours pass with him outside and I realize that he has totally forgotten about the concept of coming inside and is huddled under a tree somewhere dreading the zombie (or butterfly) apocalypse. So I stick my head out the back door, call him, and he runs to me as if I am saving his life. (I don't correct this thinking.)

Just now, I was calling to see if he wanted to come in. It went a little like this.

"Jasper! Jasper Jaaaaaacob! Freddy Jasper Jacob! Dante Alberto! Bandito! Monnnnnkeypants! Come on Jas!"

And then I wondered. What would the neighbors think if they heard me shouting seemingly random names? Seriously, that sounds like I either have about a dozen cats, or am a little screwy in the head and just like to yell things out into nowhere.

Then I realized how weird it must sound when I call for BonoCat. Although really, the world would be a better place if everyone just randomly yelled "BONO!!!" out their back door now and then.

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