I totally forgot to update you guys on yesterday's tooth saga! (Scroll down two posts if you missed it!) I got to the dentist and had to wait around for a while while they waited for my old dentist to email the x-rays I had done a couple of months ago. Don't you love those situations where all you want is to get it over with, and yet you find yourself waiting?
Finally got to go back to the exam room, and met the new dentist. WAY nicer than I expected! He looked at my Tooth of Doom, and my X-Rays, and then said I need to do a week of antibiotics before we can pull it. NOOOOOO! I was SO ready to get that sucker out of there that hearing I have to wait a week totally made me sad. But that's the plan... antibiotics 4 times a day (FOUR!) for a week, and then I go back next Tuesday to get this sucker out of there, and come up with a treatment plan for the rest of the work I need done. Unlike my last dentist, I get the feeling that this one will actually DISCUSS the treatment plans with me, instead of just having an assistant hand me a couple of printed-out plans.
I can't swallow pills (I have throat issues), so the dentist called the pharmacy to discuss liquid antibiotic options with them, and then I went on my merry way. Unfortunately, it turned out that the medicine they picked was $200!! I called the dentist's office back and asked him to call the pharmacy again, and instead ended up with a $20 medicine instead. WHEW!
The not fun part is that my antibiotics (Clindamycin) are capsules, which the pharmacist told me I could open and sprinkle on food. (The pharmacist also apologized for recommending the $200 drugs, he was like "I had no idea it was that much!) I've had to do this with plenty of medicines in the past, but HOLY CRAP, you guys, Clindamycin tastes AWFUL! Take any awful medicine you've ever tasted, and multiply times 100. It's SO BAD.
I've spent the past day amusing myself by randomly IMing Katie things I would rather taste than this medicine. "I would rather lick the floor of the men's bathroom at (a favorite Orlando dive bar) than taste this again!"
After some experimentation, I FINALLY found a mixture that works pretty decently! I mean, the after taste still makes you want to rip your tongue out and never taste anything again, but it's a huge improvement from before! Thus, I hereby present you with my "How to make antibiotics taste better" plan!
Step 1) Coat entire tongue in Orajel, or similar numbing medicine. The easiest thing to do is put a big blob on the roof of your mouth, and slide your tongue all over it till it's coated.
Step 2) Coat tongue and roof of mouth in a thin layer of peanut butter. Not enough that anything will stick to it, just enough to have a kind of greasy film between your taste buds and the world.
Step 3) Open pill and pour the powder into a cup.
Step 4) Add an amount of sugar roughly equal to or slightly greater than the amount of powder.
Step 5) Add roughly 2 tsp or so espresso. Really strong black coffee will do in a pinch. You need the bitterness of the coffee to mask the uber-bitter drugs.
Step 6) Swish the cup around till the powder and sugar dissolve.
Step 7) Drink as quickly as possible.
The taste is still horrible enough to have nightmares about, but SO much better than anything else I've tried!