Monday, January 14, 2013

It's Bachelor Time!

I didn't blog about last week's season premier of The Bachelor, but I was in the mood to do this week's episode! I don't have DVR, so this is basically just stream of consciousness while watching the show. 

I'm admittedly not a big Sean fan. He's not ugly or anything, but he's just not my type. He seems like a super nice guy, but also kind of boring. Maybe this season will let us see some of those imperfections that make a person interesting? 

Sean

Tonight's episode starts out with Sean working out. You know, because we assumed from all of his bulging 
veins that he was a total couch potato. Our trusty host Chris Harrison (who always tweets amusing things while the episodes air) tells us that he really thinks Sean will come out of this whole thing engaged. How awesome would it be if a season started with Chris saying, "You know, this guy is okay and all, but I just don't think he's going to find love."?

Sarah with one arm gets the first one on one date. (Oh, if you missed the first episode, there's a chick named Sarah that has one arm. She's 26, but looks way older.) Sean picks her up in a helicopter, which is obviously not overkill for a first date. 

Sarah

They land atop a skyscraper, where Sean tells her they're going to be doing a 360 foot freefall thing to reach a champagne toast at the bottom. I have to give Sean some props for taking her on a sort of physical, adventure-y date. It gave him the chance to see that even with her disability, she can keep up with his active lifestyle, and it showed her that he's not going to treat her as fragile. 

And ha! Right after I typed that, we get to see Sarah tell Sean about a time she wanted to go zip lining, and they wouldn't let her because of her arm, so she's been trying to find someone who won't tell her she can't do things that she knows she can do. I'm actually starting to like her at this point, but then she throws out a "He's the perfect guy for me!" You've been on your first date with this dude for a couple of hours, Sarah. Chill a little, girl. Sarah gets the rose and some smooches, but then annoys me even more by saying she thinks she might be falling in love with Sean. CHILL OUT GIRL. SLOW YOUR ROLL.

The group date card arrives, and a whole bunch of chicks whose names I haven't bothered to learn yet get called to go on the date.

Tierra

Tierra is all grumpyface about being picked for the group date, because she doesn't want to be around a bunch of girls. This was kind of funny to me, because the second she appeared on last week's episode, she reminded me a LOT of Courtney from Ben's season, who had the same "I should get ALL the solo attention!" mentality. I have a feeling Tierra is going to be the high maintenance girl who Sean likes but everyone else hates this season. I want to smack her upside the head for mocking one of the other girls for having hair extensions. Dude, this is reality TV. Everyone has extensions.

Anyway, the group date involves Sean and the gaggle of girls doing a romance novel cover photo shoot, which momentarily makes me wonder if I've stumbled into an episode of America's Next Top Model. The second that yoga instructor Katie says she's worried she'll be overshadowed by bigger personalities, I'm pretty sure she's going home. That makes me sad, because I think I might like her. (HA, yep! She decided to go home later in this episode.)

Lesley and Sean have great chemistry, and are pretty cute together. Kristy is a model, so she's pretty psyched that this date is a photo shoot. I think her confidence totally worked for her, and the book people obviously agree because they pick her as the winner. 

They follow up the photo shoot with a pool party, because this show loves any excuse to get a bunch of women into bikinis. During the party, Lesly takes Sean into the house to chat, but they end up in a room that's totally dark except for a loveseat that seems to be lit by a spotlight. I'm sure it's supposed to feel "intimate", but to me it feels creepy. Plus, the lighting is so funky, you can barely see their faces. Lesly gets super awkward, though, (girl after my own heart) and totally kiss-blocks herself. This is either going to totally screw up her chances, or once they do get around to kissing, she'll feel more confident and things will be okay.

Lesley

Annnnd, as soon as I typed that, Lesley went back and pulled Sean aside again for some kissy-kissy time. Smart move!

There are also super weird shadows when Kacie pulls Sean aside for some one on one time, which makes me wonder if this show even has a director of photography. (I typed DP, but that could be taken SO WRONG given the premise of the show.) I'm not a big Kaci fan, but I have to give her props for having that whole "Can I get out of the friend zone?" conversation, since she and Sean have met before. (I just realized- it would be BRILLIANT if one season they let the Bachelor plant one of his female friends in the house, so he could get her perspective on how the girls really are.)

Kacie

Just going by what I remember about Kacie from Ben's season, I don't think she's going to make it all that far. Top 10, maybe, but not final 3. 

Catherine was really cute, and they seemed good together.

Catherine

Weirdest arm positioning EVER. 

 But then he had similar chemistry with Selma, which made me wonder if Sean is one of those people who just connects easily with everyone, which could make this really complicated and confusing for the girls. 

The other one-on-one date this week goes to Desiree, who I have zero memory of from the first episode. 

Desiree

Sean takes her to a faux art gallery for an elaborate prank, where a piece of supposedly super-expensive art is going to fall and break, and Desiree is going to think it's her fault. Dear Men- This is a HORRIBLE IDEA. This poor girl is probably already terrified to be on a first date that is being filmed for national TV, and now you're going to do that to her? If someone did this to me, I'd be pissed! Pranks and practical jokes can be really fun, but save them for someone you know, not a first date! It definitely doesn't set the mood for romance, ya know? Desiree was a pretty good sport about it, but I'm sure she was like "I will castrate you in your sleep" in her head. They seem to really get along, though, and are on the same page about relationships.

Rose ceremony time, so all the girls put on their catty faces. One of the girls (I missed who it was) says "I feel like tonight is literally a tornado of negativity," which makes me instantly disdain her for her improper use of "literally". 

Probably did not actually happen at the rose ceremony.

I kinda spaced out through most of the cocktail party- I'm just not that invested in these people yet. Robyn brings up the fact that Sean actually has 3 black girls in the group, which is pretty rare on this show. The girls are all hatey on Amanda, who is apparently not much for socializing with them. They automatically assume she's bitchy, but maybe she's just socially awkward around a big group of strangers? 

Sean gives out roses to all but 2 girls, so Brooke and Diana are outta here. 

Brooke  Diana

Laters, babies.

I can usually pick a top 3 or 4 by a couple of episodes in, but I still don't have much of an impression of most of these girls. Maybe next week?

Who do you guys like so far? Who are you already sick of? Would you date Sean, or do you think he's kinda meh, too?


All images lovingly stolen from the official Bachelor site. 

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